So Much to Say... So Hard to Type With 1.5 Hands!!!

Dear Reader,

So I am awaiting the birth of my next baby cow, and I'm very excited. Today will be Mini Mol's first day with a halter on and i'm going to brush her. Hopefully bonding with her will go well and she will like it. As I have said before I love baby time and I get busy with the babies when they are all here. I'm as to what my new arrival will be, if it's a girl that would be cool because we get to keep her but I have got myself thinking it will be a boy because 2 girls in a row would be what we want and that usually is not what we get!

This pic is cute because it addresses whether we get a boy or girl, or even twins!

So I just want to inform you about my cast life. Life with a cast sucks!!! I am managing though and with help from family and friends, we do more laughing about the cast then just being down by it imposing on life. My cast is starting to get very loose which is not good but I'm told that is what happens. I'm wondering how my fingy will be on the 27th and whether i will need to get another cast or will i be able to get something else....maybe a little easier to work with!!!

My cast is a little bit different then this one. I wish my hand contained as much history as the hand in this pic, which happens to be Chopin's. This cast of his hand was made after he died.

My friend Meg as down this week from Tuesday to Thursday and then I took her to the train early Friday morn. She had a really good visit and was able to enjoy a relaxed lifestyle for a little bit. She was great company and when I saw her son for the first time in a while, he was walking everywhere like a march hare. It was really cool to see him motoring around because the last time that i saw him he was just getting ready to crawl. Being able to witness the growth of a child is amazing, I think that's why I enjoy baby time at the farm because they develop so fast.

2 babes, 2 brains = Trouble!!!

Well if we have a baby born today i will be sure to post again. I just wanted to drop you a quick line because a fellow reader made a comment that I had been slacking on my posts. I must do a better job to keep you guys better informed....and i plan to!

New Arrival At the Farm + My Broken Fingy!

Dear Reader,

I know it has been a while but I will tell you why. I recently broke my finger which makes doing everything 10 times harder or more awkward at least. I broke my right pinky finger June 1. I have a cast now, which is fibreglass, so that means that it can go in the shower and it's more durable.

Next thing on the agenda, we have our first baby girl Mini Mol, born to Molly. She was born on June 7. She is absolutely adorable. I didn't know this but baby calves are born with no pigment in their eyes so they all have blue eyes to begin with. Mini Mol suits her stunning blue eyes.

Mini Mol born June 7, 2008, mother = Molly
Aunty Bigguh doing her job already, while Mummy and daughter look pretty darn cute for the camera!

Mini Mol is going to be a Papa's girl, I can just tell!

Anyway my hand is pooped already. Sorry reader, I may have to make my entries short but frequent.

Enjoy the pics!

And the ANTM winner is ........Whitney

Dear Reader,

I am announcing America's Next Top Model winner. And the winner is......Whitney.

This was the best finale to date because the girls got to walk in a Versace fashion show. The clothes were absolutely fantastic but you can't expect anything less from Donatella. From neutral colours, to vibrant blush pinks, and shiny metallics, each piece had a personality of their own.

Whitney, did a damn good job as a plus size model and she is the first to make it to the finale. She takes beautiful pictures but she has had to come through as the competition progressed. Whitney was the first top model to be plus sized, but the term is full figured model, doesn't sound so bad. From Atlantic Beach, Florida.

Anya was transformed into a bleach blonde princess. She knew her angles really well and she wasn't as pose-y in her photos. Anya was very high fashion from the star and she only got better as well. From Honolu, Hawaii.

The judges were really torn at who to choose. Both represent strengths that ANTM has never had so this has been a first for them. No one ever expected either of them to be ANTM. I'm really glad that America's Next Top Model chose a full figure model because maybe that is a sign that they are moving on.

Another great season has come to an end, can't wait for the next!

Tribute to Ben, Sparty and Newt

Ben ( Ben Hur)

Sparty (Spartacus)

Newt

Dear Reader,

Some unfortunate news but we all knew this day would be coming. My calves Ben, Sparty and Newt left today. No they didn't go for meat they went to a better place where they will be fed like piggies and get to make new friends. After that the rest is history.

I want to write a tribute to them because they were the first babies actualluy born on the farm and it was such a great learning experience as well as enlightening. Each day one of the babies was born was really special because I gave them names and got to see them learn how to stand and then eventually walk. For each baby there was a lot of wobbles on the first day they were born. As I got to watch them grow like most mothers watch their kids I got to see them develop personalities and traits that were specific to each one. Ben was the first bornn and he was always very docile and quiet, much like his mother Molly. Sparty was the argumentitive baby that was always disagreeing with whoever was handling him, (I didn't handle him often because I couldn't deal with his attitude when it was bad!). Newt, my precious little boy, was the most outgoing, curious and well socialized of the group. Because Newt learned to be led around at a younger age, it was his forte, while the others were not far behind in excelling at their leading skills. The funny thing is Dad was fixing the fence in the cows paddock the other day and Newt was around being silly of course. Dad said that he actually stole the hammer while it was on the ground and he was running around with the hammer in his mouth, while dad was chasing him trying to get it back. I don't know about you, but it definitely makes me chuckle a little bit. The times that Dad and I would go out to the field and all the cows would start a mini stampede and kids would always be the first to kick up their heels. It was so much fun to watch them play and frolick with the mums.
All my boys I am very proud of and they all turned out to be wonderful babies. Ben, Sparty and Newt you were the joy of my life when you were at the farm, and I loved you with all my heart. Seeing you grow up I can relate to mothers with children, just in a different way. No other babies will replace you because you guys were the first and will always be. Even though new arrivals are making me excited for June/ July time, you guys will never be replaced and in my heart you will always have a spot. Love Mum/ Sarah.

Ben and his mother, Molly

Newt, his mother Scarlett and Sparty

Unfortunately the winner of Survivor Micronesia is.... Parvati

Dear Reader,

I have to bring you up to date on all that happened yesterday in the 2 hour finale of Survivor Micronesia. I am sad to say that Parvati won. She and her conniving ways made it to the goal of the $1,000,000. Did she deserve it? Not in my opinion. She was terrible at challenges, when sent to Exile Island she acted like a malnourished beached whale, she broke every promise she made, what else is there to say. I don't think there was one good thing I found about Parvati. When asked by Alexis at final tribal council “How do you think you would make a good role model for young girls?”, she fed her a line of BS and said that she acted appropriately for the game. Strong woman....I think not, she lost every challenge except for the one that was handed to her by Jason's stupidity. Then there was Natalie, who's question was totally irrelevant to the decision she had to make of either Amanda or Parv. The question being “How do you act in the bedroom, when we see how you act in the game? What type of intimacy are you willing to share?” And how does that relate to who wins the million dollars, if you want to ask her out then just say Will you go on a date with me. Another shocking moment was when Ozzy was brought to tears, come on buddy. You were great at the game and then at final tribal council you basically ask Amanda to marry you or at least date you for a while. That sure put a twist on things, but Amanda sure was happier then a pig in shit! Cirie was bitter that Amanda didn`t choose her and I understand but Parv was just as big a traitor as Cirie herself. Evil minds think alike I guess. Cirie voted for Parv on the basis that Amanda didn`t choose her to be in the final two with her. Do I think that was smart? No not really but some people were going to vote for Parv I guess and how fitting that Cirie be one of them.

Needless to say my person that I chose, Amanda, did not win the game of Survivor. I think she should have. Her morals for the game were stick to your loyal friends you have created, and play and fight as hard as you can to get to the final two. Well she did all of the above. I don't understand why every woman on the Jury voted for Parv but maybe it was because she had a better rapport with the guys but then that doesn't explain Jason's vote for Parvati. Good for James, Erik and Ozzy sticking to their beliefs and knowledge and not voting for Parv. I just wish that 2 other people felt the same way so that Amanda could have won.

Survivor's 2nd place, Amanda.

I Miss You

Dear Reader,

I just finished watching PS I LOVE YOU with Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler, Lisa Kudrow, Gina Gershon, and Kathy Bates to name a few. This movie was excellent but I will be quite candid with you dear reader, for the last half of the movie I was in complete and utter tears. Anything that happened brought on a running river of tears and then eventually I had to start blowing my nose because I was plugged up. The character of Gerry was, what I would assume, most women's ideal man. He was loving, caring and special in more ways then one. As I wrote in a previous post I was trying to make amends with the one, and this movie brought a flood of memories about him and I to the forefront. Yes I want to message him, but I know I shouldn't. If I could I would probably write the following:

PS I love you, I should have added it to the bottom of the letter I wrote to you. If you haven't watched the film then please do because even though the main character dies, I know that you do not want to think of me anymore so that's like someone being dead in a sense. This movie made me think of you so much. The glimmer Holly got in her eye when Gerry gave her that look. Gerry's huge, yet playful smile. Gerry's sense of adventure. The film talks about loneliness and how one tries to go about living their life after such an occurence. For me the break up we had was like that, and for 5 years +, I have kept every memory, every thought, and every special moment. I wish you could just accept that I had my issues then but would like to have a chance just once more.

I know this letter sound pathetic and what have you but all that I said in it is true. I have not let go of him and that has held me back for all this time. I am terrified to let go of him and everything that goes along with it because I don't want to forget some of my most passionate and memorable moments in life. In that relationship I learned so much and to just forget about it would be like burning a book to me. Books are precious and full of knowledge and to me it is almost criminal to hear of burning books or putting graffiti in them or other ways of destruction.
If only I could let go of him so that I could move on with my life. Another hard day that will be though... Please go to the this link to watch a wonderful and touching montage:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K9gLmsAGos&feature=email

Making Amends is Hard to Do...

Dear Reader,

I am on the journey of a life time. I'm not sure if you ever remember me telling you about the ONE but I am on the road to attempt to make amends with him. I know that we will never get together or anything and that's not what I am expecting, just we broke up on some very rocky terms and I want to clear the air. Now this is where it gets personal, when we broke up things were not hunky dory and a lot of things I said and did should not have been done. I am trying to make amends because there was stuff that I feel needs to be explained. I'm not looking to be forgiven but if that happens that's great. I'm not looking to be friends with him but if that happens that's great. When I set my mind to something and I need to be resourceful I will pull out all the stops just to get what I am looking for. Whether it is checking my certain spots, which I won't share because that would give my sneakiness away, calling random numbers until I hit the jackpot, I will do whatever it takes. I know that this person may have their own reasons for not wanting to talk with me but I would like to hear him say that so I know plain and clear. How do I feel right now.... Well a mixture of emotions: some good – excitement, happiness, success, some bad – anxiety, invading on his territory, nervous how he will react. I will state that I am totally in a position to be reemed out and told to GO FUCK YOURSELF but I really hope I get to state my piece. I have tried to contact this person several times with no luck but hopefully this time will be different. I hope he will give me the chance to say what I need to say, to apologize (yep I need to do that because I was a mega bitch), to say how important he was to me at the time and still is but for different reasons, and why I cannot let go of this issue until it's dealt with. I'm like a dog with a bone, can't let go of it unless it's pryed from my very jaws. This issue haunts me everyday and makes me regret so many things, that if I were just able to talk to him and let him know what I want to say and make an effort he might appreciate that I am willing to say sorry (a word that rarely comes from my mouth). He's allowed to be angry, hate my guts, never want to talk to me again, and any other punishment I am deserving of but I hope that his heart is not so calloused that it will not let me plead my case. Things have changed now and it has been over 5 years, a long time for someone to hold a grudge but it's possible, I know because I have done it. I understand that talking with me, writing to me, seeing that I have tracked him down maybe be painful, a pain that he has put aside for 5 + years but I don't know if I were in his position whether I wouldn't want to hear what the person has to say. Maybe it would feel good to get out your feelings and really tell the person how you felt at the time when they walked and tramped all over your heart, let it out once and for all, let what was never said be known. I'll admit that I deserve it, I was a doorknob who had no idea what type of person was in my life. For the moment my brain keeps pacing, one way to check my messages to see if he has replied and then the other way to see if the phone is about to ring with a call from him. I need to talk to him to finally get out that he was my one but that was the past and the past cannot predict the future. I have to live in the moment and move on and maybe this is the way I will have to do so. As for how my adventure unfolds I'm leary at what is about to come. Mixed emotions make my insides like a martini, shaken not stirred. If I get this chance I will thank him graciously and let him know how much I appreciate him letting me speak my piece.