Tribute To Abby

So i just turned 28 on November 4, 2011. Probably one of the worst birthdays ever. I had to put my dear cat, Abby, down. She may have had a brain tumour and at the end it was so bad that she was in a coma and incontinent. She may have had little or no eye sight and she had lost all recognition. She would gaze in a trance most of the time. Me and my other cat, Zoe, are very lonely. We are relying on each other to get through this time of grieving. I have had strong urges to use/drink but i have been good and not had a single drop/toke. I am kind of in a trance myself. I don't really feel like myself and any emotion whether good or bad just registers as nothing. I don't really care about myself which is not good and can sometimes put me in compromised situations. The worst part of it all was slowly watching my AbbyCat fade into a nothing-type state. She didn't want to eat and could hardly move. I can only imagine what the world looked like to her near the end, if she even noticed it all. My therapist said to do anything i need to avoid self medicating with inappropriate substances. I have just chosen to stay away from them altogether but damn! It would definitely help. What i would give to feel numb again, especially right now. I don't feel happy and today i should be happier then a pig in shit. I went for my last appointment at the fracture clinic and got to be completely cast-less. It's been 3 months since i've been able to be totally independent, from showering to driving. The driving i missed the most. You never really realize how hard it is to be a passenger. But getting back to my point, bc i feel so depressed i can hardly smile or be joyous. I have turned inward and don't really want to talk to people. Sometimes communicating with family is difficult but it's not their fault so i make the extra effort. Before i had to put Abby down i was edgy, always wondering if i was going to find her dead. It was one of the harder things i have ever had to experience.

I want to remember the good things about Abby:
-we saved her life when she showed up at the farm, so anaemic she was barely existing
-she loved living at the farm
-she really enjoyed laying out on the pavement when it was warm and sunny
-in the winter, i remember her being curled up under the heat lamps nice and toasty
-sometimes i would put my gloves underneath her body so they would get extra warm under the heat lamp
-she loved to eat, food was her passion in life
-when she moved the apartment with me she made a perch on top of the couch
-she would sit on her perch staring out the patio door for hours
-in the summer she would lay out on the patio and just be a beach bum minus the beach
-she loved playing with her toy ferrets
-eventually, she would play with anything that would rattle when she batted it around
-the kitty condo was her sanctuary and i'm sure if she could have gone in the hammock she would have
-she had the most loving gaze, it was something that would truly melt your heart
-when i came home from work or something, she would greet me with a friendly meow
-even though her and Zoe had tiffs, they were the best of friends
-they would bake in the sun together on the warm days of summer
-Abby was a really chill cat, she loved lounging around the house
-afternoon naps were something she lived by
-she loved Nana, and when Nana visited she would be with her non-stop
-Nana always babied her and she loved it
-when she purred she sort of murmured like a pigeon
Dear Abby,
Zoe and I miss you every day. It's really lonely without you but we are glad that you aren't suffering anymore. We hope to meet you at rainbow bridge.

BupKiss!!!

Today is the day i get back to writing my blog. After i received the comment below, how could i not:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Bingo Bango Bongo":

You haven't updated in so long! I love your blog, write more soon! xo

It fascinates me how people are still wanting to hear about my boring yet adventurous life. So i will start writing this now at 111 pm and then i will bit and piece it together.

First off my addiction is by far at it's worst. I don't feel worthy of change or a better lifestyle. My depression and other Mi's are wreaking havoc on me. I disassociate from my parents and spend their money like a fiend. It kills me when my dad says that i am trying to buy people's friendship but in the end when i analyze it or look, it appears that way. The way i think of it though is that i am helping out a friend that i would hope would help me out when i need it. I throw all caution to the wind and my impulsivity is at an all time high. I am afraid to go to detox because i am worried that it might not work but i have been told that sometimes for people it takes several go's before it works. I question what my purpose here is all the time. I am a 26 year old party animal and i am way old to be doing it. My celebrity example would be Lindsay Lohan, but i'm older then her too! I rarely want to eat, and if i do it's only a matter of time before i am ralphing it back up. I am trying to do a liquid diet for now because i know that i can handle that. My parents miss their old Sarah, and i have no idea what i have become but it is monstrous to say the least. I have even gotten to a point where i don't think i deserve any better so i just keep frittering my life away and being silly.

There's people out there that take advantage of me. I question how i attract all these people that want to borrow money and use my stuff. I must have an i'm stupid or take advantage of this one she's easy on my head. Or something that makes me stand out so that i am an easy target. Saying no to people i think are my friends is one of the hardest things in the world and i rarely do it. Then if you go by the “you teach people how to treat you model,” technically i encourage that kind of behaviour. How do i learn to say No? I wish there was a way i could learn and start using it immediately. There are so many things that i would rather not do and because i can't say no i get roped into doing them. If you have any suggestions or anything please feel free, if you want to tell me how silly i am or whatever your feeling, i always let my readers know this is an open forum and they can comment on anything that i write about.

The song “Nothing on You” by B.o.B (feat. Bruno Mars) is something that i am constantly listening to. It's a great beachy type song but the meaning behind it, frig it makes me wish i had someone that thought about me that way. Someone to cuddle and have a movie date with. Someone to pamper the odd time. Someone to cook and enjoy dinner with. Someone to love me for me, faults included! Other songs that make me think about 'him' are Perfect (hedley), Billionaire (B.o.B.), Airplanes (B.o.B.), Can't Be Tamed (Miley Cyrus), Not Myself Tonight (Christina Aguilera), Over (Drake), plus there's a few classics like anything by Jason Mraz, the Eagles, RHCP, STP, Katy Perry and Ke$ha, that's just to name a few.

I have been making an effort to keep my house clean. Keep the dishes tidy, got all my laundry up to date. The one thing that i don't do enough of is vaccuming and with having Abby and Zoe, my cats) it's something that i need to be more on top of. There's something that i hate about doing it. Maybe it's the fact that if i do it, i know in a matter of seconds it's going to have hair on it again. I think that i need to add to my routine that once i finish doing the dishes i also vaccuum, but it depends because i am not vaccuming at some stupid time and annoying my neighbours because i'm not a jerk like that.

The weekend of July 3^rd i have a wedding to go to. It's my cousins and it is my first wedding as a guest. It is also the first time i have seen this side of my mum's family in quite a long time, i would guess about 5-7 years. I am a little worried because i know that some of them know that i am battling addiction(s), but i don't want that to be the focus. I want to be looked at like a regular person, not some handicapped or addicted person. I kind of wish that my mum didn't tell them some of the stuff that is going on right now but i can't be a total controlling asshole because she needs to vent too. Geez my mum probably feels like she is going through Hell everyday, so she has to talk about it to someone. She can't just keep it inside and let it eat away at her, that's how people get sick, and i know that both my parents are highly stressed right now, and yes, sadly it is majority caused by me. It's almost like everything i touch right now turns to shit.

Writing all this makes me feel better a little bit because i can say what i want. This is my space and i will use it however i choose. I want people to be informed about the marijuana poppers and what a bad thing they are to be addicted to. If one person can read this and see what path it could possibly take them down, or even relate to this, it might help or prevent something from starting. My parents informed me that i have been going through this addiction for about 2 months now. In a way it seems short but then again it feels a lot longer then that.

So the last few days i have been going over a list that i have generated of who i have had sex with and then another list of people who i have done stuff with. I have had sex with 10 people and 4 of those people were 'trophies'. I have done stuff with 17 people and 9 of those people were 'trophies'. There is one person that i want to do both or one of the categories and he is a 'trophy' as well. Sometimes i think that is a lot of people but then i factor in that i am 26 years old so that's not bad. When someone that is 19 that has a track record that is like mine, that's a little more 'interesting' is the word i will use for safety purposes. I have no idea why i told you this but my list was here and then i just thought while i was looking at it that i would write about that on the blog.

My apartment got re-arranged about a week ago, and i am happy to say that i have an official office desk with majority of my office needs on it. I can sit at the laptop on one of my kitchen chairs and it is just right. It feels comfortable and has everything, and it's right by the door which i like. Looks like a working apartment instead of just a party place or crash pad.

I am very excited to go see SITC 2. The first movie was really good and me being a fashion-holic loved everything about it. I never really watched the series so the movie was awesome but i never really did anything to download the seasons or anything. I am just happy watching the movie and not really knowing the back story. That's a major faux pas in the film world i know.....sorry!

I finally broke down and got the wii fit plus with the balance board. It tells me obese all the time but i think that's really negative so i ignore it. I love playing the snowball game, it's one of my favourites. I am just starting to break out and try a few more of the games. I will say that it has helped me because i always want to know what my wii fit age is. I have been lucky to get 20 sometimes and 50 others. I have noticed my Centre of Balance has improved though since using it. I've had it for approximately 2 months or maybe a little bit more. It was kind of expensive but it's worth it for me because then i can exercise at home without having to worry about people watching me or what i look like.

Time and again i try to make others happy before myself. You would think that the people i am trying to make happy would be impressed but all i can seem to do is cause problems and make people unhappy. So many people are disappointed with me right now, most of all myself. I wake up every morning wishing i didn't exist. My depression is getting worse as each day goes by. I need to gain the courage to want to help myself. I need to want more for myself and know that i can do better. If i am the only person that doesn't believe this then maybe i can rely on particular people to help me with such an issue. I feel so guilty all of the time and i hate myself with such a passion. I hate what i have become. Visions of the old me pass by like a runaway train without a cause. Just racing, no looking back or forward, full tilt.

BOOK NOOK – 2 good reads – The Book of Negroes (great story, and it felt like i was actually on a journey with the main character.)

-My Horizontal Life (Chelsea Handler is my hero!)

Mish Mosh, Pish Posh

So i want to start this off: RIP Stacy, my little calf that was Clinton's twin. She passed away on Feb. 12, 2010. I was on vacay and only received the information yesterday that she had passed away. Stacy was named after Stacy London, who is on the show with Clinton called What Not to Wear. She was a small little critter and i hope that she is playing in the giant pasture in the sky.

I sit listen to some dance music, THE BLACK EYED PEAS, and i ponder what to write to you.

I could go totally patriotic and blab about how wonderful it is for Canada to have the leading count in gold medal winnings on Canadian soil. Especially the mens hockey game... what a great finish to a great games. I didn't watch the Olympics that much. I saw some really good important parts though, ie. Alexander Bilodeau winning the first gold, the woman ice skater who won a bronze and competed even though her mother passed away 2 days before, the ice dance team winning gold, and so on. The thing that i like more about the Olympics is that the biographies and commentating is very inspirational. Some people were rewarded with one of the rarest gifts for being good people. Maybe people will create new heroes that they can follow and aspire to be.

ROCK YOUR BODY comes on and i just start to move with the music. Hips doing deep dips. Thighs swaying from side to side to the electro beat. Every once in a while my hands pump and raise the roof. My carpet is my private dancefloor with no limits. I can shake my money maker. I like to get down. Dance like there's no one watching (my cats look at me like a lunatic!). Be totally free. Even break into lap dance mode!

There's this guy that i wish i got to know on my vacay instead of leaving without hardly knowing him. He's very creative and seems interesting. I think he has some great stories, wish i heard them. He's mysterious but i like it. I want to get to know him better, but i don't want to come across as that chick that is desperately wanting to know your deepest darkest secret. I want to be distant a little. It's hard but i have had some success so far. Just got to keep up the cool persona!

The lights on my wall blink green and blue to red and orange. That's one thing that i really love about what i did to my apartment. I have my lights up in a design, it almost looks like a face but it's not meant to be that way. I love turning them on and having them on while i am chillin' at night time. They make me happy, and can entertain me for a few whole minutes.

I had an interview on the weekend. I hope i get the job. I'm confident that i can do it and it's so close to home. With it comes responsibility and organization (which i know i can do, that's one of my best selling features!). I have already figured out what my special title would be EQUINE EQUIPMENT DISTRIBUTOR, which would be the long title for "I work in a tack store" or "I work in retail". Now remember how i used to call myself an Equine Stall Sanitary Technician, which was long for saying i shovel shit. And i want to say that it sounds really professional so when i said it to people they would just look at me and nod with a look of WOW on their faces. Any job can have a fancy title so there!, you just have to be able to create it.

I'm still very addicted to the application of FARMVILLE on facebook. There's something about it that i just love. I like that none of the animals are for edible use. I like that i can grow just about anything and not have it die unless i leave it too long. Oh yeah, I'm RICH! (If only it were real life, TEAR)

Paging all readers - Winter has arrived.... Today!

So i write to you today as i watch the snow piling up outside. Mother nature was kind enough to give us a dumping of snow when it wasn't needed. It's cold outside and the weather is chilly. A damp cold that soaks into your bones and makes you cold for hours. Everyone was worried about the weather but i don't think that the town really prepared for it. Roads are covered with white powder and possibly some ice. Cars hardly want to turn over if they have been left outside in the cold for the night. The wind has a slight howl to it, as if it is trying to communicate with some ungodly force. The plastic put up on my balcony crumples every so often, a constant reminder or a good morning hello. The windows have snowflakes on them and are slightly frosted. Lucky for me i have a heating pad on my bed (thanks Mum!) so i don't have to go to sleep cold and lay in a cold bed. When my fingers stop the rhythmic beat of typing there is a sort of deafening silence. It's not eerie. It's almost comforting. Doors trying to hold themselves shut can do only one thing, which is quietly bang while they try to keep the wind and cold out from their home owners. The trees have a beautiful type of silohette(?) to them. They are covered in white but you can see the grey outline of the branches and the bulk of the tree. As i peer out my window for a glance at the winter wonderland that has been created within the last twelve hours, i watch as snow tries to stay on a roof but ends up being blown off creating a mystical and fantasy-like effect.

My roomy lays in his bed curled up with a favourite pillow that has been helping him sleep better. His head peacefully lying on the pillow, while his body is wrapped tightly in the duvet. Abby rests at his feet because she is obsessed with him. Zoe is nestled into her blanket on the deck of her condo apartment. It's like she is in the tropics, and she is enjoying the heat and loving the sun. None of that is provided though at my house, only i get to vacay to the tropics and see my best friend in the whole wide world. I get to escape for a short period of time and live on paradise island, or that's what it should be called. The only light in the apartment is what is coming from the windows, and of course my computer screen! At the end of the hall a door is slightly perched open, I wonder what lies behind it.... what do you think?

What Matters To You?

Dear Reader,

It has been a while but there have been a few things that have sparked my interest to write this post to you. A very dear friend of mine, recently lost her mum. I feel for her and when I heard the news I was brought to tears. Her mum will not get to see her first born child or her brother's second child. This got me thinking about our time here on the planet. Some of us are here for a long time, a friend of my parents, her mother passed away at the age of 88. She had a long life and it was well lived. My friend's mum was only the age of 54, this hits close to home for me because my mum is going to be 57 in July. I can only imagine what my friend thought and felt as she watched her mum decline so rapidly. Not only is she pregnant and having to keep on top of that but she also had to deal with a matter that would break most people's hearts. She's sad and wishes her mum could be there but she knows she isn't suffering anymore and considers that a blessing. I put my heart out to both my friend and her mother.

At this point in writing this post I want to take a moment and I would like you to do the same. I want you to think about your time here. Have you accomplished what you wanted to this point? Do you still have goals and dreams that you are working and aspiring to? Have you made amends with those you had problems with? Have you gotten rid of any feelings of hatred? Do you know who you would miss the most, and why? What would you say to those people?

I know that there have been many accomplishments in my life to this point and I am still trying to reach other goals that I have set for myself. I know that I am at peace with my parents and that we have a good relationship and that we can talk about a variety of things. I know that as a writer, I am constantly trying to work and find new avenues to release and create my work. There are a few people that I have not made amends with but I can say that I tried and did all that I could. I have accepted responsibility for destroying particular relationships and then trying to make amends and apologizing for such poor behaviour. I have hatred within but each day if I can try and get rid of a modicum of it maybe there will be none one day. I would miss my parents and best friends. The people I can bear my soul to, the people that know the real me, through the good and the bad. I know that I would be reunited with my precious Phildog and that would mean the world to me.

Those are the things that matter to me right now!

Parting is such sweet Sorrow - RIP Phil Dog

Dear Reader,

I have been on hiatus for the last month. I was in Cayman Islands end of Feb to beginning of March and then Las Vegas the end of March to the beginning of April. Some of my closest friends call me a world traveller. I don't feel that I have gained that status yet but I have done my big holidays for the year and now have to focus on getting a job and putting my life in order.

The main reason for me writing to you is because Thursday, I suffered a great loss. I came home from Las Vegas, to later in the day have to put my beloved Phil dog down. I knew when I saw him Thursday morn that things weren't good. He had lost a fair amount of weight and his eyes were sad and all he could really do was shake because he was so uncomfortable. I feel like I have lost my best friend or a family member. I still am going through the motions of telling myself that I did the right thing. I would never let him or any other of my pets suffer but to actually say goodbye was probably one of the hardest things in my life. I am plagued with feelings of guilt, sadness, depression, and frustration. I have to keep reminding myself that he isn't suffering anymore and that he is keeping a close eye on me from wherever he is. Phil's age was never really found out but we thought at the end he was probably around 12 to 14 years old. My dad, a veternarian, said that for a dog he had a long life so he was lucky in that way. Three months ago dad performed an extensive surgery to remove bladder cancer and it extended Phil's life by 3 good months. He bounced back from the surgery the fastest dad had ever seen, he was back to normal within 10 days....incredible recovery time for something that was so invasive.

The story of Phil began when I was working at Petcetera in Newmarket. I was a worker there and my main area of concentration was in the adoption centre. I saw and took care of lots of cats, but on the day that I quit Petcetera, I had discussed with my mum that there was this dog, Phil, that had been in the adoption centre and I could not leave him because he would surely be put down if he went back to the kennel again. When mum met Phil sparks flew and he was my 'leaving present' from Petcetera. On the way home I remember we were on Davis Drive in Newmarket and I was hungry so we stopped at Mc Donalds. I got some food and I asked mum if Phil could have some burgers as well. That was the beginning of his fascination and love for Mc Donalds cheeseburgers. He gobbled them down and was quite content for the rest of the ride home. Phil and I had a special bond and my mum truly believes that the reason and purpose I worked at Petcetera, even though it was for a short time, was to meet Phil and eventually have him become part of our family. We had Phil for 8-9 years and we were able to provide him with some of best care and love within those years. Spoiled with toys and treats, he later in life became a fashionista, wearing polo shirts and button up shirts. Some may think him wearing clothes was silly but it actually helped to tone down his anxiety, especially when there were storms. Not only was Phil very fashionable in his later years but he was a true lovebug. He would always come to me and give me hugs and shake my hand. An intelligent being with a heart of gold, Phil will always hold a huge part of my heart. He had the personality and character of a loving, caring dog, and didn't have a mean bone in his body. When I was sick, he would always stay with me and make sure that I was alright. Phil brought me a lot of comfort. Just knowing he was there would make the slightest difference in how I was feeling.

With him gone now, the farm house is very quiet. Jamie, his best friend and companion, (our other dog), wanders around lost and constantly looking for Phil. They spent so much time together, and to have him gone so quickly is giving her a culture shock. Since she has always been very close with my dad she is clinging to him a lot because what was familiar to her is now gone. She will never replace or be anything like the Phil dog, but she will have to behave better to get any recognition from me, Sometimes I think that I don't like her because she is dad's favourite, and I can imagine how silly that must be to read, Hell, it feels silly to write. Maybe eventually she will win what little room is left in my heart for her.

Phil was lucky and got to be put to sleep at home in familiar surroundings. Although I was not present when the deed was done, my mum, who I greatly thank, was there for him in his time of need. She said that Phil was very strong and that it was his time. I knew Phil would be strong, that was part of his character. He didn't fuss or anything when it came to be time, he just knew that his suffering would be over and that there would be a better place waiting for him.

One of my favourite quotes from Romeo and Juliet said by Juliet:
“Parting is such sweet sorrow.”

I will continue to love Phil dog til my days are through and he will never be forgotten. If anyone that reads this knew him, remember him by the good times that were shared. Remember him for who he was and what joy he created. Remember his favourite foods: Mc Donalds Cheeseburgers, cheese and crackers, buns, roast beef, etc. Phil, you will always hold a large spot of my heart and I will love you forever.

Love
Sarah

EVERYTHING HAS A PRICE

Dear Reader,

My progress on the name jar for my dad was good till this weekend and then $5 went in the pot. At least I was faithful about contributing when I called dad a bad name. My mum suggested that I carry it on until I can go a week without calling dad a bad name. The fact that I didn't really see dad helped and a few phone calls is not exactly like seeing him in person.
Sadly dear reader, I didn't receive any reports of suspicious activity which was a shame. I would have liked to hear what you guys considered funky junky.

This week's task:

EVERYTHING HAS A PRICE: THIS WEEK, FIND OUT WHAT IT IS

Go up to people and ask them how much they would require to part with their much-prized possessions, there and then. Here is a rough guide to the going rates:

Selling you their unfinished coffee:$9.04

Selling you their left sock:$16.28

Selling you a mouthful of their three course lunch:$10.85

Selling you the book their reading, book price +:$18.09

Selling you their pet:$2170.74

Selling you their umbrella in a downpour:$63.34

Selling you their place in the queue:$27.14

Selling you their soul:Negotiable

In some respects I find these prices quite exorbitant but in some ways these prices seem quite understandable.

My thoughts:

I would sell my soul for a decent price. I would be more then negotiable.

I would gladly give my left sock away because it's less laundry, and it probably stinks.

I would never give my unfinished coffee away because that's how germs spread, and most likely
I would like to finish it, add to my caffeine consumption for the day

I would never sell my book, especially the one I am reading unless it was really shitty, otherwise I would keep it and hoard it like I do with all the rest of my books.

I would gladly sell my umbrella in a downpour because Singing in the Rain was a great film, so maybe I could achieve some star status!

USE A PERSON'S REAL NAME or REPORT SUSPICOUS ACTIVITY

Dear Reader,

I have choosen a tough task for us this week. It's called, USE A PERSON'S REAL NAME. This task did not come from the book but I will add task from the book if you like. I personally think this is a great task. The point of this task is to pick one person, and make an effort to call them
by their name instead mean things.

Ex.

I regularly call my dad Stupid, Dumbass, Idiot, etc. For everytime I call him a mean name I am to put a $1 in the name jar.

The idea comes from the well known swear jar, but I have tailored it to suit a different purpose. Once you have completed an entire week you are to give the person that the name jar is for the monies that have collected by your mess ups. This also works well if you tell the person that you are doing this task, the down side to that is they may try to egg you on to using the regular BAD names for them, but that makes the task more challenging.

If you do not like the above task here is the alternative from the book.

FIND SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY AND REPORT IT
We must be vigilant in the face of the terrorist threat. As the (UK) police suggest, “Where there's unusual activity that doesn't fit normal day-to-day life, we need to know.” -a broad call to action if ever there was one. Still, citizens must do their duty “if you suspect it, report it.”

Please leave your report of suspicious activity as a comment to the blog/post and it will be duely noted in my records.

Examples of suspicious activity:

“Mary at 29A hasn't put her recycling box out this week”

“There's a chap outside my house who's been tying his shoelaces for 2 whole minutes.”

“This bald man in local grocery just bought a three-pack of shampoo.”

“The Johnson's have bought fertilizer and it's not even planting season.”

“A dark brown 4x4 has just driven past the train station 3 times.”

“My colleague always puts down the phone when I walk in.”

“The curtains at #98 are always closed in the afternoon”

“How can that ghastly family afford such a bigger house then ours?”

Some of my reports (to start the week off with a bang)

A) There's a constant knocking sound coming from the apartment below (are they trying to let me know they are doing something mischeivous).

B) Someone always leaves the parking garage door unlocked (intruders could enter the building)

C) My cats freak out in the middle of the night, what causes this? (maybe they are under some spell)

D) Particular neighbours always want to talk to me, when I really have nothing to say to them. (what information are they trying to extort or get out of me)

E) People randomly throw garbage my apartment buildings' and work buildings' dumpsters (is
there something in the garbage that needs to be hidden)

F) Runners...they are always listening to something when running and appear in the zone (what are they listening to...instructions from the Master Runner and what zone are they locked into, one from Mars?)

USE A PERSON'S REAL NAME or REPORT SUSPICOUS ACTIVITY

Dear Reader,

I have choosen a tough task for us this week. It's called, USE A PERSON'S REAL NAME. This task did not come from the book but I will add task from the book if you like. I personally think this is a great task. The point of this task is to pick one person, and make an effort to call them by their name instead mean things.

Ex.

I regularly call my dad Stupid, Dumbass, Idiot, etc. For everytime I call him a mean name I am to put a $1 in the name jar.

The idea comes from the well known swear jar, but I have tailored it to suit a different purpose. Once you have completed an entire week you are to give the person that the name jar is for the monies that have collected by your mess ups. This also works well if you tell the person that you are doing this task, the down side to that is they may try to egg you on to using the regular BAD names for them, but that makes the task more challenging.

If you do not like the above task here is the alternative from the book.

FIND SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY AND REPORT IT

We must be vigilant in the face of the terrorist threat. As the (UK) police suggest, “Where there's unusual activity that doesn't fit normal day-to-day life, we need to know.” -a broad call to action if ever there was one. Still, citizens must do their duty “if you suspect it, report it.”

Please leave your report of suspicious activity as a comment to the blog/post and it will be duely noted in my records.

Examples of suspicious activity:

“Mary at 29A hasn't put her recycling box out this week”

“There's a chap outside my house who's been tying his shoelaces for 2 whole minutes.”

“This bald man in local grocery just bought a three-pack of shampoo.”

“The Johnson's have bought fertilizer and it's not even planting season.”

“A dark brown 4x4 has just driven past the train station 3 times.”

“My colleague always puts down the phone when I walk in.”

“The curtains at #98 are always closed in the afternoon”

“How can that ghastly family afford such a bigger house then ours?”

Some of my reports (to start the week off with a bang)

A) There's a constant knocking sound coming from the apartment below (are they trying to let me know they are doing something mischeivous).

B) Someone always leaves the parking garage door unlocked (intruders could enter the building)

C) My cats freak out in the middle of the night, what causes this? (maybe they are under some
spell)

D) Particular neighbours always want to talk to me, when I really have nothing to say to them. (what information are they trying to extort or get out of me)

E) People randomly throw garbage my apartment buildings' and work buildings' dumpsters (is there something in the garbage that needs to be hidden)

F) Runners...they are always listening to something when running and appear in the zone (what are they listening to...instructions from the Master Runner and what zone are they locked into, one from Mars?)

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH EVERYONE WEEK

Dear Reader,

First I want to commend you on your fantastic efforts in participating in SWEAR WEEK. It truly was a hit. For me, it was nice to just forget all inhibitions and just let everything out. Not worry about offending anyone because I made sure it was known that it was SWEAR WEEK. Potty mouth was initiated and exercised, now it is time for a new task for the upcoming week.

THIS WEEK SHARE YOUR EVERY THOUGHT WITH OTHERS

You are an extraordinary human being. The only reason others don't always appreciate this is because they're not inside your head to witness the creative maelstrom of your consciousness. This week, turn to the person nearest to you every time you think a thought, share it with them, and watch them succumb to the magnetic pull of your mind. If there is no around, email or call or text. But get those precious thoughts out there!

Examples

I think I'll watch the news tonight.

I'm quite hungry.

Sheila in accounts is a good laugh.

Does my cat dream of me?

I had a ham sandwich for lunch yesterday, I might have the same again.

One day they'll be able to stitch tiny mobile phones into our ears.

My wife doesn't understand me.

What's my mother's favourite colour? We've never discussed it.

That man is sweating like a pig.

I'm bloody starving.

Here are some of my thoughts at the moment: (ENJOY)

I wonder if I will get that job in Australia that I applied to?

One day I am going to be a famous writer and people will want my autograph.

I walked a mile today.

Why are my cats so insano sometimes?

I'm trying a liquid diet for a day and so far so good, and no i am not pureeing my food I am just drinking juice, tea, coffee, and water.

My trip to the Cayman Islands is soon and I'm going to have a blast.

Tom Jones is the greatest!!!! Particularly the songs It's Not Unusual AND Sexbomb.

I think I should turn my bed heater on, so that it's toasty for when I want to go to sleep.

Had a bath and I feel great.

SWEAR WEEK was so awesome, I am considering making that a monthly ritual or something.

I want to go to Tuscany.

I desperately need a mani/pedi/eye brow wax.

I love writing to you!

LAUGH OUT LOUD

Dear Reader,

So I was in a local book store looking for a writing exercise book that provided me with props to get me started on writing with new, strange, and fun ideas. Then the shopsy handed me this book, it's called, THIS DIARY WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE 2009. There are little captions and sayings randomly blasted around the front and back cover and I thought this would be a great book to use for my blog. I don't plan to do the weekly exercises or anything but I do plan to use this book to entertain, enthral, and educate you! Upon opening this book the first page is red and has the following quote in the middle of it:

“To be completely free, one must become a slave to a set of laws” - Cicero

As thought provoking and discussion instigating that sentence is, in some forms, be it rare or common it rings true. After reading that a few times it just makes me want to use this book even more to highlight my blog and my adventures. Everyone needs some comedic relief in their life!
The first task is MAKE A NEW YEARS RESOLUTION THAT NO ONE IN HISTORY HAS EVER MADE BEFORE. This is interesting because they supply you with some suggestions:

-Bring a bonafide Nazi to justice
-Find the Grail but keep quiet about it
-Teach the world to sing
-Memorize Pi backwards
-Gain weight
-Find the lost city of Atlantis
-Learn to horsewhisper
-Defeat evil wherever it may surface
-Make 1, 879, 422 pounds, (british currency) exactly and no more
-Find a cure for vertigo
-Waste fewer words
-Get a job in drug dealing
-Discover a new black hole with the naked eye
-Watch less bad news on tv
-Train my pet to meditate with me
-Eat asparagus every day
-Resolve the Middle East Crisis on a postcard
-Remember more of my dreams
-Recycle other people's rubbish
-Master the AK-47
-Stop passive smoking

As I was typing that list down I came up with a response for each and every one of those suggestions. If it's humour you are looking for today you will get it. Enjoy. (These are in the same order as stated above but it's my version!)

-If you are going to bring a Nazi to justice, make it worth your while. Go for a few or some one big like Ernest Zundel
-Don't bother finding the Grail, no one wants to read something as old and dusty as that. Pick a new age interesting book.....how about the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, there's hunky guys to talk about and hot girls for the guys!
-Teach the world NOT to sing, avoid any ear piercing harmonies
-Anything with math, forget, except your count downs for birthdays, holidays,etc.
-Gain weight is an interesting one because at some point in the year everyone achieves this one!
-There's the hotel in the south that's called Atlantis and it practically is a city, well no, but has a lot of cool things that most regular cities don't have....the slide that is underwater, the biggest indoor fountain and a rockin' dance floor!
-I'm great at HorseYelling so I don't need to horsewhisper, my message is heard loud and clear!
-Defeating is fun when you are a super hero but you need to have the right spandex costume, liatards and gadgets first, once you invest in those then the crusade can begin
-I think that you should try to successfully make $1 for charity everyday, a good deed a day keeps the evil away! And..... it makes you feel good.
-Forget vertigo, find a cure for something common like IBS, yep that's right Irritable Bowel Syndrome
-Speak/Write fluently (Tough one for word Hogs!)
-A job in drug dealing does sound very appealing, but I don't think there are any tax breaks and legalization is a toughy
-The other day I did discover a new black hole with my naked eye, it was my dirty oven, Job=Clean dirty hole and make it pristine so that it hurts naked eye to look at. (Special tip, look around there's an asshole somewhere all the time)
-Allow only reality tv drama in your life, my personal fav....The Hills
-Forget training pets to meditate, if you can teach them to nap on command now that's something
-DO NOT eat asparagus every day, it gives you stinky pee
-Jack Nicholson said it perfectly in the movie Mars Attacks, “Can't we all just get along...” don't bother wasting a postcard, word conservation remember!
-I remember my dreams very well, but for those that forget invest in a dream journal, then a book that interprets what your means, then buy something else that interprets that or just forget the whole damn deal....WHO CARES! Live your life not your dreams!
-If you get into the recycling business that could be more profitable then the drug dealing and....hey hey hey.... it's legal!
-I think it's great that it is suggested that we learn how to use one of the most important and well known weapons in combat, next years ideas: RPG', grenades, machine guns. Etc.
-In the healthy sense of the word, stopping smoking is great but I've heard that being a quitter is not a fun thing either, maybe you can find a happy medium, switch the smoking to smoking pot and then you will be letting your drug dealing idea go up in flames, a positive use of its fruits!

I hope you enjoyed my variations on these few ideas. I enjoyed writing them. More will come soon you just have to wait for it!

NEXT.....

Dear Reader,

Sometimes when words escape you nothing says it better then song. My friend wrote a recent post where she only used song lyrics to describe what is going on in her life.

http://aphoenixlament.blogspot.com/

I find that song helps me through a lot. When I want to rant I listen to some hard ass stuff. When I want to find comfort and solace I listen to music that is mellow and makes me ponder about many things. When I am in a good mood and just want to boogie, then the dance hall and club stuff comes out.

Whether it be James Taylor, Nas, Nellie McKay, Sarah McLachlan or Hedley they all have a story to tell. Each story is different from the last and certainly the next. Although certain parts of the song may ring true with you and may instigate some wonderful ideas they are someone else's ideas. These ideas make you spark your own ideas to write, create, or be your own new enigma. The power of song is something that not one single person could describe and it be the same for everyone else.

NEXT....

I am trying to eat healthy. I was given the challenge of eating one live food a day. For the first 2 weeks it went really well. I was trying different foods: yogurt, stir frys, veggies, fruit. Then I had to do a week of healthy carbs. I found that when I was eating the live foods I was more energized, able to go longer without a nap, overall feeling better. When I went with my week of carbs I did slow down a little bit and felt I craved that nap more then the last 2 weeks. I fell off the wagon and haven't been eating the greatest but come Monday back on the healthy stuff I go. It did a lot for me and even helped me lose a bit of weight. Everyone is really proud of me and being supportive for me to continue on this kick. Thanks guys!

NEXT...

I have a job. I met an old boss on the golf course last week and he said to give him a call regarding work if I was looking. Well being jobless gets tiring, so I did give him a call. I wanted to start supporting myself more and have a better income. Needless to say I started work on October 2 and am doing well. It's part time for now but I hope to eventually graduate to full time.

NEXT...

I sit here watching my two cats, Abby and Zoe. With the weather change they have been acting a little fritzy and doing some odd things. The batting matches are more frequent and since it's been so cold the patio door has been closed, so no outside time. I think the kitties miss their outside time, but I am not willing to freeze myself out of my own apartment just to please two spoiled felines. Yes, they may be my babies and my company but it's not happening. If there are a few nice days left then ok, the patio door will be open and they can seek refuge on the furniture. My cats are funny. They never used to get along. Abby lived here first before Zoe, but when Zoe arrived she thought it was her palace and Abby was an intruder. Well the tables have turned an now they are great friends. They play, share meals, and even beds. I'm glad there isn't 2 pissy females aside from me in my house because that would make life all that much harder.

NEXT....

I must make a quick mention about the Hills. When it first started I was really thinking that this season was going to be the worst season to date. Man was I ever wrong. They just needed to get their engines rev'd so that they could let the drama fly. The last few shows have been totally fantastic and have been drama packed, therefore making it the bees knees. There's the usual Spencer and Heidi conflicts, Lo and Audrina are now getting along, Lauren thinks she wants to date someone she's already dated (hopefully it's Brody...fingers crossed), Stephanie has betrayed Lauren, Whitney is a star at People's Revolution and the new guy Doug, well lets just say he's trying to get his from Stephanie behind Lauren's back and has been CAUGHT! So let's go back to singing, “The hills are alive with the sound of bickering and yelling.....”

Blah, blah, blah...

Dear Reader,

I just got home from doing my first grocery shop. Let’s just say that I am glad that I finished my treks up the stairs with all my groceries. That will definitely add exercise to my weekly routine. I am very tired and I think that I need to figure out a better way to get the groceries up the stairs. Although my counter argument is that it was my first grocery shop so I would have more things then the regular shop….at least that is what I am hoping.

KITTY NEWS

So tonight is the night that Abby comes home and starts to get used to the new diggs which will be her home now. I can’t wait to have her here, it will be comforting and we will develop a great bond. Now the secret about Abby was that when she was young she was really sick and from being so sick she is now deaf. I chose to bring Abby from the farm because she is really special and it will be a lot safer for her as well. Princess Abby will be taking her thrown this eve when dad brings her over. I’m so excited for her arrival.

NEW DIGGS IS HAVEN

I have a friend come over for the weekend. She has some issues but if my place can be her haven for the weekend. If she can get her feet back on the ground the home away from home will work perfectly for her. I just want to welcome her to my house and let her know that in times of trouble I am more then glad to help.

NOTE- Pics are coming soon I just have to remember to bring the camera. Things are really coming together and I enjoy living on my own. I’ll keep ya posted.

Cheers Reader

I CAN WRITE RIGHT?

Dear Reader,

So I have some really good news. I have been apartment hunting and I have finally found the perfect apartment. I made the offer that I wanted it and I got the call on Feb 13 telling me that the apartment was mine March 1. This means no more house shuffle between either of my parents’ homes. This means an abode of my own. A place that I can call home. I am taking Princess Abby the barn cat that I saved a year or two ago. She is getting de-clawed because she claws a lot and I don’t want everything being ruined to rat shit. I am hoping that March 1 I will be able to sleep there and start my whole adventure of living on my own. I am many things: nervous, scared, happy, overjoyed, curious, and so much more. This is going to be great I think. I already like picking what I want my furniture to be like and how I want it to be arranged. I want to make this clear to you reader and also for myself…THIS IS NOT A PARTY HAVEN, THIS IS GOING TO BE A HOME. I am over the party scene, I don’t mind having a friend over now and then but party central this is not. It’s going to be my special place….I’m quite excited can’t you tell.

DATE NIGHT

So on Wednesday night I had a date with a friend from the past. I knew him when I was dating my abusive boyfriend and we had some chemistry back then. He wanted to do the gentlemanly thing and take me out to dinner so I said it sounded like a wonderful idea. We had good conversation on the way to the restaurant and then after. He wanted to go to Kirkfield beach (no it’s not a beach) and just sit and talk. We did that but we did make out as well. Now I haven’t made out with someone for a long time and we all know that I have been a born again virgin from lack of sex. The making out though, it was sweet, it was heart felt, it made me feel things that I hadn’t felt for a long time. He got to a point where he had the guilt bug because….here’s the kicker, he started thinking about his girlfriend. Now I am a very jealous person to begin with so when this happened I started to feel guilty for certain things that I had said to him and such. But most of all it got me thinking about how much I miss being kissed, being cuddled, and most of all loved. No I don’t think this guy loves me but I miss having someone to give my love too and get it in return. Needless to say I had a good night but I left very sexually frustrated, jealous, and wanting a guy that is clearly not able to be mine.

EROTIC WRITING WORKSHOP

Reader, we know that I am trying to become an accomplished writer and I have entered a contest or two and been to a self publishing workshop. I got an email from one of the ladies in one of my writing groups and it was regarding an Erotic Writing workshop. Now when I was taking my writing course, I was known for writing the sexual, erotic and racy pieces, no one really touched the subject. I enjoyed the writing and the ideas that I came up with so when I found I had an opportunity to apply for this workshop I jumped at it. The workshop is Feb 23 from 10 to 4. I can’t wait to let you know what it was like and share some of what I have written.

So reader I wrote to you finally and I had some good stuff to share. I still haven’t received any feedback as to whether I should post my visual bookshelf to share what I have been reading and such so I will not post it until I get something from someone…hey that could be you!

Valentine’s day just passed and yes I think it’s not the greatest holiday, especially for single people. I think the holiday was made specifically for people to rub in the single people’s faces that they are alone and what have you. WELL I AM SINGLE AND I HATE VALENTINES DAY. To all people that agree with me good for you and be true to your heart, don’t fall for the chocolate from a friend or a postman….it’s a guilt gift because you are single. I AM SINGLE …and trying to be proud about it but some voids are not getting filled!!! NOTE - As a ritual I had to post the above picture because it's a yearly event.

Sending you love dear reader because it is you that has been true to my blog and read it faithfully. You are special and you get to enjoy the humour and weirdness that I bring to the world. A special cheers to that, oh yeah, and everything I just wrote in this paragraph is truly sincere! Here's a virtual gift to show my token of love.

Updates, Get Your Updates!

Dear Reader,

I am very sorry, I have left you in a limbo like no other. You are probably gripping your keyboard and giving it a shake wishing I would write a post. Well today is your day, I am going to write a post and give you some updates and such.

SELF PUBLISHING WORKSHOP

January 26, was the self publishing workshop. It was really good. I will admit there were some really annoying people asking questions that the host had answered and what not, but overall really made me considering self publishing the book I am working on. There are so many formats and choices you can make for your book and publish it professionally minus the costs. What a great idea….so glad I went!

KME & AVIS

My student and her mount are coming along really well. They have actually decided they mesh really well together and can count on one another. A couple weeks ago I sent Kme over a 4 ft jump to see how she would far. It was a fairly open oxer and kind of intimidating, but it worked out amazing. Avis ended up jumping it 5 ft instead of the four and he was trying his little heart out. We got a hold of the Trillium season that Kme would like to show in and it’s pretty hardcore. She’s definitely looking forward to what is in store for her this year. Let’s hope the team jumps to the occasion.

CURRENT READING MATERIAL

So I am reading this book about the bridal industry in the US. I must for an industry that grosses $161 billion per year, I find it quite criminal. In one chapter they are stating that the middle of the road bride wants to spend $28,000 on her wedding. Now I think that amount is quite a lot because that would make a nice down payment on a house, send a kid to college, something, hell anything. I just think that when stats are saying that 3 out of 4 marriages break up, spending that much on a wedding is a complete waste. Now yes to each their own, I understand that concept very well but come ladies there are other ways to make that day special.

CONSIDERATION

I am considering putting my visual book shelf link from facebook onto my blog. This way you can get updates on reading and reviews, then basically I only have to do the review once. Some feedback would be nice…let me know what sounds good.

PARTING WORDS

So dear reader, I have got you up to date on what has been going on. Not a whole lot, not much excitement. I will try and keep on top of the blogging better. Please accept my apologies. Love you dear reader, thanks for being true!

Sadness, Excitement and Drama All Rolled into One!

Dear Reader,

I have some sad news. This week we will be putting down the old pony we have on the property that was abandoned and we resumed ownership of. Her name is Promi, short for Promises. She currently goes out with another horse of mine but we have integrated our little white devil Casper with that horse so that he doesn’t go bananas when Promi doesn’t come back. Over the years Promi has had her ups and downs, she’s been quite sick a few times, actually to the point of the drs saying there was no hope. Not Promi though, she came back with fighting style and got better every time. My dad and I believe that Promi is probably about 47 or 48 years old which is amazing for a pony/horse. In her hay day Promi was an excellent show pony and was very peppy and a crowd pleaser to say the least. Promi will be being put down when I am away in Kingston visiting my friend. I know that Promi knows she is loved by the family(my family) taking care of her and she will never be forgotten. She has lost a fair amount of weight and has fallen down several times, marking her sensitive skin with cuts and bruises. To make her go through the winter would be like making her suffer. We have chosen to put her down so that she is at least happy before she goes. She was here when the grass was a bright green in the spring and she has been outside enjoying the pleasant weather. Promi you will always be in our hearts.

Tomorrow is the day before the horse show in Sunderland that my student Kimmy will be going to with our horse Avis. We have worked really hard and even if we don’t get a ribbon I feel confident saying that we are ready for this show. Kimmy has been working with Avis for the last 2 months and they have quickly developed a strong bond, common between that of a horse and rider team that have been working together for years. Tomorrow is going to be a really busy day to say the least, when tomorrow is over I will be glad. Wednesday is show day and then after that I am heading to my friend Meg’s in Kingston to play 5th wheel in her little family. Good luck Kimmy and Avis, you’ve worked really hard and earned it!

THE HILLS

Well the Hills was sure interesting tonight folks. Things happened that were not expected. There was backstabbing and reuniting which were both surprises. The characters that involved those actions were interesting. Spencer really isn’t in the show much so you don’t get to see him trying to grow his fair haired mustache which looks kind of odd. Another player that was missing was Brody…where were you this episode mister?

Re Cap
- Elodie, Heidi’s co-worker, tells Heidi that she wants to go for this new position opening up at Bolthouse. Heidi asks Elodie if she was hired just before she was and Elodie says yeah like a year before.
- Lauren gets and assignment from Whitney, this is the first time we see Whitney take some boss action
- Lauren tells Whitney that she got a call from Jason, this makes her feel weird
- Heidi goes home after work and tells Spencer that there is the new position opening up at Bolthouse, Spencer says that she deserves it most out of everyone.
- Lauren and Audrina have Lo over for dinner and Audrina fills them in on the fact that J-Bobby is phoning her non stop but she is not answering the phone. Then strangely enough Jason calls Lauren. Lauren admits she has only been in love once in her life….ahem Jason.
- Heidi the next day goes into work to and meet with Brent her boss and tells her that she thinks she qualifies for the new position and that she would really like to be considered.
- Audrina and Lauren go the gym and have an intense workout with their trainer Jarrett, who convinces them to meet him and his friend Derek out for drinks and they decide on the bar Lola.
- While on the date, all Derek can talk about is how he buys vintage shirts at a thrift shop for 40 cents and then he’s thinking he may be able to sell them for $70 one day. They head to Les Deux and Derek starts telling Lauren that she is the best girl he’s ever met and that he’s falling in love with her. While in the bathroom Lauren says to Audrina, “I’ve never been on a date with someone and wanted to stab myself in the eye with a fork so bad!”
- Lauren and Audrina are sun tanning the day after and they start talking about things and how the bad guys want back in their lives just at the wrong time. Audrina mentions that she finally picked up the phone and spoke with J-Bobby and he apologized which he has never done before in their history.
- Heidi goes to work few days later and walks into her brand new office…apparently she got the job. Elodie greets her at the door and says congrats on the new position. She just hopes that Heidi appreciates it as much as she would have.
- Audrina goes to the beach with J-Bobby and they seem to have a good aft and then it’s finished off with a bike ride home.
- Lauren goes to a quaint little coffee bar and meets up with Jason, who is still in rehab. They talk about the past and how hard it was to get going after the break up. Jason found it a lot harder then he thought it would be and realized that he did a lot of things wrong. Lauren is trying to be friendly and supportive with Jason but you can tell in her expressions that she’s uncomfortable and doesn’t know what to do. Jason looks like he regrets losing Lauren too.

So after the re-cap I must start off with Heidi. She really has turned into a yucky person since being associated with Spencer and the ring is just ugly to look at. I’m pretty much thinking it’s fake because it never twinkles and it has this black spot in the middle. I can’t believe Heidi backstabbed Elodie after Elodie told her she wanted that position and such. You could almost tell that Heidi was thinking about the position after Elodie started talking about it. I don’t think things will be as kosher in that co-worker friendship as it used to be, I think Elodie will resent Heidi and in a way she should. You could tell as she was walking away after congratulating Heidi. Moving on to Audrina. This girl needs to decide what she wants from J-Bobby and just say, “if you can’t give me what I need then go away”. This guy is yanking her chain almost as if she is a bath tub constantly filling up with water and you yank the chain to get the stopper out. Think of all the emotional turmoil J-Bobby has caused, not just in the last four months but in the previous 2 years…don’t think he’s a keeper. Now Lauren and Jason. We knew this meeting was going to happen eventually because they broadcasted the commercial for it way too early. Jason has been in jail, and now is in rehab, aren’t you fragile when you’re in there, so aren’t you supposed to avoid stressful situations. Sobering up is supposed to be stressful enough. I don’t think he should throw himself back in Lauren’s life, and if he does Lauren can’t handle it either. She has so many mixed emotions about Jason still, she wouldn’t have a sound mind going into a relationship with him fo sho. I think everyone needs to focus on who their TRUE friends are, be the kind of people that they would like to be treated like, and live their lives….their only in their early 20’s….Geez!

PS – I apologize for not posting after the Hills but blogger was down and I couldn’t so today will have to do!

I Can't Get No.....Satisfying Sleep!

This is what I wish I was doing!

Dear Reader,

I’m glad I have you to write to! It’s 2:30 in the morning and I still can’t sleep. Yeah ok so I forgot to take my sleeping meds but oh well it happens to everyone. Your mind gets thinking about other things and you just forget to shoot those little various coloured guy down the old hatch. If it’s never happened to you, wow you are lucky, wish I was you! It happens to me often, not a lot but enough to make it a pain. I have been in bed since 9 fell asleep around 9:30 and have been waking up constantly ever 20 minutes to half hour. ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

So I did what I usually do when I get up in the middle of the night, go for a pee. Yep just like a dog, only my dogs don’t pee at night so how weird is that?!?! It’s a bonus cause no one has to put them out but they usually sleep through the night. Anywho…. As I am done peeing, I look to the kitchen, my enemy because it provides me with nourishing midnight snacks. I stare the freezer down as if it’s going to have a gun fight with me. 2 seconds later I shake my head say ‘meh’ and walk over and take out the evil poison known as Butterscotch Ripple ice cream. Yeah I always look at the Lactaid bottle when I start my spooning but I say, Geez I am at home, by the bathroom, which is the best place to be, so I throw my care for my lactose intolerance out the window. I am searching for the hidden chunk of gold in this box, that’s the huge swirl of butterscotch that is just the most delish, smooth, best damn thing there is. I have eaten only from this box before and there was none, surely on the second time I would have had luck, right? The brand is Nestle (yeah I know they did bad things in the past) Parlour Ice Cream – Caramel Sundae. Close enough to the old trusty but the thing I am finding is that my ‘sundae’ is lacking sauce for the 2nd time. Maybe I will write a letter, tell them how disappointed I was, because when I need comfort food it’s major thing, maybe I’ll call them and let them know they are slightly misleading when they are advertising for it. Sure the vanilla was fluffy but when I am in a boo mood and need a fix, I gotta have it!

On a different note, one of our barn cats is missing. This cat is the best. His name is Oreo and he’s just like a dog which is great. I did the adult thing and made posters for dad to put up around the neighbourhood. Personally I think it was one of our neighbours that stole him, but I’m not going to tell anyone, just you my secret friend(S). Barn cats do come and go but ours usually stay around because we are always giving attention to them and they would be considered traitors if they did leave. We have had a few minor betrayals by the princes and princesses of FUR but we always have them come back. Mum holds no grudge against them, I casually walk by and call them ‘traitor’ under my breath. Trying to receive the same effect as if a person walks by a lady and calls them a slut, and the women gets totally enraged. The cats don’t pay too much attention to what I say and Geez, princess Abby is deaf, so we all know where that messages falls! I love our precious kitties and sure I play favourites but I am missing Oreo real bad. So unbreak my heart and say you know where he is.

*Sorry for the weird ending, I was trying to use phrases that are interesting, then I come out using old words from a Toni Braxton song…lyrically challenged, but in a good way*

Good night dear reader!

Tribute to Herbie

So folks I have had another death in my animal family. My dear Herbie, my first betta fish passed away June 9, 2007. Herbie was a really interesting fish. He was at the point where he would almost do a mini jump out of the water to get his food. He was really skiddish and didn't like foreign things in his home, but overall he was a wonderful fish. I painted a rock for him so that he can have a place within our little animal cemetery at the back of the property. I put all things that were important to him on the stone, his name, a heart because i loved him, the sun because he loved the warmth, and a wave because he loved water of course. I hope that Herbie is swimming around in his big fish tank in the sky or wherever it is. He will be missed dearly but I will carry on and Barclay will also carry on with good memories of him close to our hearts. You will be greatly missed Herbie.

On a secondary note, my dad has now changed his stance and he thinks that we will be having calves on Fathers Day. The girls are pretty big and their titties are full of milk ready to feed hungry little ones. It will be Molly and Nubbin that are expected to calf. I will be sure to get lots of baby pictures and keep you updated. Scarlett and Bigguh are due around August 1st so we have a while to wait. I am ready to be in parent mode though and am very excited as it will be my first time seeing a birth.

Book Review - Marley & Me by John Grogan

This picture is of my dog Phil and I am so proud of him. He brings me comfort when I am sad, a snuggle when I am cold, and when I look at him I know that he truly loves me because that’s what the expression is in his eyes. So dear reader if you are an animal lover like myself, I have a very good choice for you. The book is Marley & Me by John Grogan. Now I am going to be honest with you, it took me a long time before I actually decided that I was going to buy it. I pondered as to A)how it would be written, B)how the story would flow, C) and honestly, whether it would be really good and be worth the full price I would have had to pay if I bought it when it first came out. Luckily for me, and the book too I guess you could say, it got to be a bestseller at chapters and there was 30% off the original price, and me being an irewards member I get the extra 10% off, (a whole 40% off for wee old me, that’s good because I buy enough books from chapters, I am probably one of their main supports!). The story is a biography about Marley, John Grogan (the author), his dog. Marley is a very interesting specimen of a Labrador Retriever. He has non-stop energy, loves people, is outgoing, and completely crazy and silly. The sorts of trouble he gets himself into are totally unbelievable and have the reader laughing to themselves quite frequently (or at least that’s how it was for me. You learn about Marley from when he is 8 weeks old to 13 years old (which is a really long life for a Lab.). I will admit I didn’t read through this book as fast as usual because I got a little bit bored with it in the middle but especially at the end, I was reading the book like a trooper. In a strange sense Marley was like the cartoon Marmaduke in the way that he would always be into something or being naughty. Marley and the author hadn’t an instant bond from the very first night he was brought home to the day he died. The author’s wife, Jenny, also was welled bonded with Marley but nothing could break the love Marley had for the author. An example of Marley taking care of Jenny would be that he watched over her and never left her side after she mis-carried her first ‘child’. Jenny would wake up every morning sobbing and inconsolable, Marley would be instantly by her side and she would wrap her arms around him and cry into his furry neck. Marley took care of Jenny and the favour was returned later in the book as Marley aged. The end of the book was very special to me because it made me think of my first dog and my dog(s) that I have now. I value each day of their lives and love them with all my heart. The ending had me in tears, and I don’t usually cry when I am reading (because I am the ‘cold, unfeeling’ type). The ending also showed appreciation for the bond that any animal lover has with said pet, no matter what they have done in the past or present.

Some quotes that I thought I would like to mention are below.

1. Author and wife reminiscing on what his mother had said about the children growing up.

“We both rolled our eyes when my old-school mother clucked at us, “Enjoy them while you can because they’ll be growing up before you know it”. Now, even just a few years into it, we were realizing she was right. Hers was a well-worn cliché but one we could already see was steeped in truth. The boys were growing up fast, and each week ended another little chapter that could never again be revisited. On week Patrick was sucking his thumb, the next he had weaned himself of it forever. One week Conor was our baby in a crib; the next he was a little boy using a toddler bed for a trampoline. Patrick was unable to pronounce the L sound, and when women would coo over him, as they often did, he would put his fists on his hips, stick out his lip, and say, “Dos yadies are yaughing at me.” I always meant to get in videotape, but one day the L’s came out perfectly, and that was that. For months we could not get Conor out of his superman pajamas. He would race through the house, cape flapping behind him, yelling “Me Stupe Man!” And then it was over, another missed video moment.”

I chose this quote because it truly does say something about the moments that children create. It’s almost like the quote relating to some of the smartest things come out of the mouths of babes (it’s like that or a little different but you get the idea). The author was always talking about his family and how they were with the dog, this was one of the few quotes and sections of the book that had not a lot to do with Marley. I just liked how his mum made the statement and then immediately things started happening that would never be done again by the kids. Strange little creatures, kids, are; most humans are creatures of habit, but I think kids a totally different ball game.

2. Author thinking about Marley and how he had truly become a part of the family.

“Marley had earned his place in our family. Like a quirky but beloved uncle, he was what he was. He would never be Lassie or Benji or Old Yeller; he would never reach Westminster or even the county fair. We knew that now. We accepted him for the dog he was, and loved him all the more for it.”

This is self explanatory. They realized that all the dreams they had when they first got Marley were unattainable because of his behaviour and how outgoing he was, but even still, in my mind that made him more special then all the famous pooches.

3. Author speaking to Marley, Marley at this point is older in the book and just escaped death’s door.

“I pulled his head up and made him look me in the eyes. “You’re going to tell me when it’s time, right? I said, more a statement than a question. I didn’t want to have a make the decision on my own. “You’ll let me know, won’t you?””

This relates to a point that I hold very dear to my heart. When animals have been so good over the years and done a service whether voluntary or not, they deserve to die with dignity. If that means putting them to sleep instead of letting them suffer, then my belief that putting them to sleep is the most humane thing you can do for them. If you truly love your pet(s) you wouldn’t want them to suffer, and as hard as it is to say good bye you know that you are doing the right thing. I really felt for the author at this time in the book because he knew Marley’s time would be coming to an end and he didn’t want him to suffer, even though he loved Marley as much as one of his children.

4. Author talking about how he wanted to write an article for work as a tribute to Marley and his life, and what he contents might be.

“What I really wanted to say was how this animal had touched our souls and taught us some of the most import lessons of our lives. “A person can learn a lot from a dog, even a loopy one like ours,” I wrote. “Marley taught me about living each day with unbridled exuberance and joy, about seizing the moment and following your heart. He taught me to appreciate the simple things – a walk in the woods, a fresh snowfall, a nap in a shaft of winter sunlight. And as he grew old and achy, he taught me about friendship and selflessness and, above all else, unwavering loyalty.”
It was an amazing concept that I was only now, in the wake of his death fully absorbing: Marley as a mentor. As teacher and role model. Was it possible for a dog – any dog, but especially a nutty, wildly uncontrollable one like ours – to point humans to the things that really mattered in life? I believed it was. Loyalty. Courage. Devotion. Simplicity. Joy. And the things that did not matter, too. A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbols mean nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn’t care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. As I wrote that farewell column to Marley, I realized it was all right there in front of us, if only we opened our eyes. Sometimes it took a dog with bad breath, worse manners and pure intentions to help us see.”

This really touched my heart, especially the fact that the author would not rest at work until he was able to complete and print his tribute to Marley. It shows how dogs and even animals in general, have an everlasting effect on the peoples lives they are in. Even the basic things the author wrote about learning from Marley, I can totally agree with because I see the exact same thing in my dog(s). This was the part that really said to me, “This is a good book, and it is worth recommending to others.”