My two good friends are having a fight which was (instigated by the fourth person in our little family). I have tried very hard today to not mention him and stuff, i need to think more of myself. I am not just someone's cash cow and that's what this person treats me like. I am really starting to not like how he ruins outings and makes the mood complete utter shit. The friends are fighting for the life of their relationship. He's sleeping in bed, has acted like a jerk and we sit here upset and stressed. A little mission had been strewed because the 4th is a jealous little jerk. It upsets me that he being around ruins everything in one way or another. When one person has that much control without really be given in it in a formal way. It's sad how people blame themselves for problems that aren't theirs. Taking responsibility for someone's addiction is the wrong approach. I believe that it is the choice of the person whether they do it or not. It is unfair for the user to blame people for choices they have made when there was a better option and choice available. I would and never do blame my addiction on anyone except myself. Addiction is a rough path i am learning, and if it's not one thing it's another thing. I have a long road ahead and there are some certain goals that I have set for myself : calling detox and getting some questions answered, trying to do more positive self talk and create boundaries towards people that are triggers, and to smoke less poppers by a considerable margin. I thought these were three goals that would be attainable yet challenging at the same time. I know if i have a good day i can accomplish the detox stuff and the cutting down. Starting tomorrow i am going to make a concerted effort. Let's see how this works out.
Btw, i went to bingo tonight for the first night. Man is it ever fun. It's a very good time when you go with the right people, luckily i know those special people (THANKS GUYS....win BIG money!) When someone is just explaining to you how bingo works it sounds really overwhelming and unable to comprehend. Getting the hall was interesting because it is a hall strictly for bingo, it looks a bit ghetto but gets the job done. When i heard my lucky number called i got excited the first time, everyone in the hall looked at me....what else is new. It's a game that can be played as leisurely as possible or as quick. AND ...........did i mention it's buckets of fun!
