I found the real Dwight!

Dwight Schrute from the office, below is a picture of Dwight and his favourite bobblehead, which was a gift from Angela in accounting.

So i was searching on plenty of fish to see if there was any guys i might like to send a good morning message. Well then i came across this fellow. Now i don't know if i told you this but i am watching the office season 4 right now (with steve carell). There's this character named Dwight Schrute. He runs a beet farm that is a vacay b&b. He has nunchucks in his desk drawer(?), pepper spray underneath the desktop. He's outrageous and hilarious. Oh yeah and he mercy killed Angela's cat Sprinkles!

My cats are having a scrap on the floor. There's hissing, hitting, and whatever else they do.

My luck is going to be great today! Maybe i will find a lost light sabre from a Jedi store.

Betty Crocker wants a VACAY!

My code name is Betty Crocker.
I make treats that are tasty and sweet.
Oatmeal cookies, butter tart squares, nanaimo bars.
I like baking in MY small kitchen.
I don't like cleaning up the mess. The fact that i do it is good.
I have been bad, not doing my Wii and exercising but i am just so muscle sore and stuffed up. Whatever, I have had some stress and ups and downs this week and the end of last week so maybe my body is saying i need to rest. Sometimes i play Wii and it's good but i have been avoiding it. I don't know whether i will keep it because my usage of it my go down. I really need to concentrate to make use of it though. It's exercise at home and can be fun when you have guests. I miss the sun. I need to get away for a vacation.

My best friend had her birthday yesterday. Happy 27th you buxom babe, you know who you are.

When I think of my flee plan i want to go to Europe for a little bit. Everything i have noticed in the last week has been about Europe or related to that area. Every time i hear i just keep thinking that it's something telling me to go. Thinking of it puts a smile on my face. I would go on my own but it would have been awesome if me and the BFF could go on a vacation adventure. Sounds like a lot of fun.

Off to make my middle layer for the nanaimo bars!

From the other woman.......

I text him, a message he can't resist. He tries to but he can't. I always get what I want, not usually but certain people I do. He walks down my hall with that swagger that is irresistable about him. He's confident and cool. He comes inside the doorway and gives me my hello kiss and hug. So perfectly that i don't notice it. He comes in the living room and says, " Don't think this is something huge or anything but i got you a little gift." I smile and give him doe eyes. He hands me the sweets wrapped in plastic. "Aw you got me suckers that's sweet of you. Thanks so much." "I just wanted you to have them because i think you're really cool ..."

Yeah he has a girl but she isn't me. That's all i'm going to say about it. I like him faults and all and he makes me feel good. I can't pass it up....

I need to get out of here, and find fashion

My best friend is going to Paris and will be having birthday dinner at the Effiel Tower with some good friends. I am so happy for her, but i'm not going to lie I would love to do that or be there. This has gotten me to thinking about things. I want to pick up and leave for a while, get away from Uxbridge, Durham Region and all the problems that go with them. I would like to Europe and travel. Make my own plans. Learn and visit all the classic and poignant times in history. Not just know what it looks like from a photograph in a textbook or travel guide. I want to be able to touch the soft green ivy climbing up the walls of the building. See what a real castle is like. Go to a black tie dinner in a European restaurant, to head after to a party of socialites. I want to smell the markets and the fresh bread mixed with herbs and various meats. I want to see London and see what it is really like there. I would visit where my mum was born, the Isle of Whyte and experience the sight of the Needles. See fashion in some of it's most historical and increasing times. Have a cappucino on a French patio with a friend while we have a fountain and children playing in the foreground.

I have also pondered the idea of getting into fashion school. I'm not sure what I want to do. I don't want to create any fashion lines or clothing but i want to assemble wardrobes. I want to be apart of styling and organization. Or even advertising for fashion or creating outfits for models to wear from a selected brand of clothing for a photo shoot. I love clothing, patterns and style. Just an idea, could very well be a pipe dream

Fuck you. Fuck you. and Fuck YOU!

Can a leopard change it's spots?

NO!
People who say they are going to do stuff and then don't follow through, you are an enemy of mine. I have just had 3 people in a row cancel on me. You think you're batting 1000 well i have you beat. 2 were for a concert that is tomorrow which i don't think going by myself is an option...thanks people leave it to the last minute. Then the 3rd, a special of some kind that i am getting used to, bailing on a booty call.

I get myself involved in various fashions with these people. And then they turn out to be taste-less and fashion-less. Honesty is always the best policy but geez if i keep saying what's going on is this working? Fucking say NO and then i can deal with it how i choose and move on.

Promises are just words and talk is cheap. Very cheap, less then that 99 cent bic blue pen you have with the fine blue ink tip.

Just when i think i find a good person, then turn to bad. So, am i cursed because they fool me? am i wrong to think they are good to begin with? am i in the wrong position when i defend them and it really comes to be they are an 'ass'? I think that i am in the wrong zip code and need re-location to Honesty Honor.

Then, the next question that you are pondering might be, how does she find these people? Well some live down the hall (they really fucked me), others live a few blocks away (they fucked me in a "be my friend i'm yours" kind of way), some live in near towns (they don't fuck me they fuck with my brain). And i could go on and on, let the scroll keep rolling idea, but you get my point.

I feel wronged, robbed, anxious, relaxed, angry, and NUMB.

Wow what a great start for the night and it's only 5:03pm. Lucky me, another night contemplating what the hell i am doing with my life and yes, i feel bad about it.

I try to convey why i am hiding behind curtains and saying this.....

I've been hiding. I did some writing exercises last week but none of them landed on here because I have privacy issues. Hidden by a menagarie of sweat pants, and sweaters. I have been doing almost nil. Baked a few things in the last 2 weeks. Became obsessed with the Office Season 1 and soon to be watched 2, and Gossip Girl Season 1, which is in progress.

A few guys have been through my life. One to whom I am the other girl but he always seems to bail on me. So that gets me to thinking am i really the other girl?I just told him to give me a call when he has time to arrange things. I really need to think more of myself and just stop this thing with him. As much as i like his company and stuff is it really worth me thinking so little of myself and just letting him do as he pleases. One had a distance issue which was fine. One hung out a few nights and then just disappeared off the face of the earth, or so that's what i am saying One took me on a date and we nattered like and old couple. One i just terminated and then he has the gall to say "He's the best i will ever have and there's not many like him out there". Thankfully my ego/pride whatever didn't take a hit. That was my opinion for him since he was only 21.My self esteem needs a boxing match with the good confidence fairy because I am fucked.

Certain bad habits have made reappearances and come for a visit. One i was able to cut out or really make non existent. The other haunts me everyday. I have to be honest, it's not haunting, it's relaxing, or sometimes productive. A dirty secret that only I really know about.

I have been and am struggling. Little devils on my shoulder encourage me to do the WRONG thing. Not thinking more of myself. Making too many indulgences on things when i shouldn't.

I need to get a job, get routine and a normal life.