I've been hiding. I did some writing exercises last week but none of them landed on here because I have privacy issues. Hidden by a menagarie of sweat pants, and sweaters. I have been doing almost nil. Baked a few things in the last 2 weeks. Became obsessed with the Office Season 1 and soon to be watched 2, and Gossip Girl Season 1, which is in progress.
A few guys have been through my life. One to whom I am the other girl but he always seems to bail on me. So that gets me to thinking am i really the other girl?I just told him to give me a call when he has time to arrange things. I really need to think more of myself and just stop this thing with him. As much as i like his company and stuff is it really worth me thinking so little of myself and just letting him do as he pleases. One had a distance issue which was fine. One hung out a few nights and then just disappeared off the face of the earth, or so that's what i am saying One took me on a date and we nattered like and old couple. One i just terminated and then he has the gall to say "He's the best i will ever have and there's not many like him out there". Thankfully my ego/pride whatever didn't take a hit. That was my opinion for him since he was only 21.My self esteem needs a boxing match with the good confidence fairy because I am fucked.
Certain bad habits have made reappearances and come for a visit. One i was able to cut out or really make non existent. The other haunts me everyday. I have to be honest, it's not haunting, it's relaxing, or sometimes productive. A dirty secret that only I really know about.
I have been and am struggling. Little devils on my shoulder encourage me to do the WRONG thing. Not thinking more of myself. Making too many indulgences on things when i shouldn't.
I need to get a job, get routine and a normal life.
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