Coraline

Coraline by Neil Gaiman
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

What to say about this book ... Geez that's putting me on the spot. I have been trying to think of what to say about it for 2 days and haven't got any idea what to write. First off, this book fills the spot of the Hugo award winner and those are very hard to find as they are novellas or short stories. Many of them are not published in hard copy because it's better to publish an e-copy and charge $3.99 for it than have someone buy the book for $12-15. I get the understanding behind why they are so rare. I really wish that I was able to find the copy of the Ted Chiang book that I wanted but alas there were no hard copies available. (Nb – I have reviewed a Ted Chiang book before and it was quite interesting).

Here it goes for Coraline. This book kind of reminded me of Matilda by Roald Dahl but the premise was a lot darker. Coraline's parents don't really pay attention to her and she doesn't really have any friends so she's always looking for acceptance. That being said, when she goes past the door to another version of the world she lives in, she meets her 'other parents' and becomes fond of them. They make better food, they want to spend time with her, they want to do things as a family BUT WAIT there's a hitch. I'm not going to tell you what that is but I will say that's where the darkness permeates and begins to become a bit of a problem for Coraline. The classic story line where the main character gets what she wants and things go happily ever after happens in this book BUT she has to work for what she wants and there are some twists and turns. I found this book extremely hard to read and it's not even 200 pages, which is very sad in my opinion. The most I would give it for a rating would be 1 star. Children may like this book much better than I did, and of course there is a movie based on the book so that would be a perk as well. Will I be watching the movie, NOPE, not going to waste my time. And that's all I have to say about that.

Lord of the Flies

Lord of the Flies by William Golding
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I 'read' this book in high school because it was mandatory and at the time I hated it. It didn't make sense, there were so many metaphors and I found some parts just plain weird/messed up. I had the chance to read it again since it was one of the books on the BBC Big Read list. I could have chosen quite a few books but this one spoke to me. I wanted to give it the chance to prove itself when I am at the most open my book taste will ever be. The premise of boys being on a deserted island with no adults was very interesting. There's some boys that you learn about that you're like “Hey, he seems ok and they might have a chance if they listen to him.” Of course there is the 'bad seed' character that tries to get people to go with him and follow his ways whether they are right or wrong. I never saw the movie Lord of the Flies but apparently there is one. For me this was like the movie The Beach with Leonardo DiCaprio (only The Beach was made with adults). There are some things that make the movie, The Beach, different but I find there is still a lot of similarities. Similarities being island fever, trying to have order within the group, how certain things are going to be dealt with ie. Shelter, hunting, bathing, etc. I was able to give this book a fair chance and while I wouldn't give it a four or five star rating, I think that a 3.5 would be great but a 3 will have to suffice for Goodreads. There are many different sociological aspects to this book and it is tested and proved/disproved by how things play out in the book. The strongest characters in the book would be Ralph and Jack, but I would give Piggy some credit as well even though he was the nerdy weirdo of the group. When things start to go wrong all Hell breaks lose. It's an interesting read but one thing I will give Golding huge credit for is he described the scenery of the island quite beautifully. I wouldn't mind going to that island and just being on my own solitary journey.

The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo

The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo by Amy Schumer
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I tried I really did but I just couldn't get in to it. I thought it would be like a Chelsea Handler book and it fell way short. I like Amy Schumer so I'm kind of sad about it. It doesn't really even deserve 1 star but it is what it is. Not sure how this book made the top goodreads in 2016.


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Faceless Killers

Faceless Killers by Henning Mankell
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

This book took forever to finish but I had to finish it because it was the only book in the library I could find that was set in Scandinavia, more specifically Sweden. To be honest (which as you know I always am), this book was a friggin' disaster. I'm glad I wasn't reading it out loud because I couldn't pronounce any of the town names or some of the characters names. This book was incredibly slow and it didn't seem like the ending was going to go anywhere but it did in the last few pages. The main character Kurt Wallander is a cop that is down and out, upset about his marriage falling apart and gets easily annoyed by his father who is having dementia issues. He is very bland, almost too bland. I imagined him being one of those people who constantly talks in a monotone voice. I think Mankell over dramatized the murder, his characters kept referring to it as a slaughter and really that wasn't the case, especially when compared to other books that I have read. Sure it was a murder scene but not a 'slaughter house'. The clues were few and far between and maybe that's why this book dragged on. I didn't get any enjoyment from this book and it put me to sleep most of the time. I don't really think it deserves a two so I will stick with a one star rating.

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I have to say that when I started reading this book it was hard to get in to. It kept making me fall asleep, then as I got more in to it there was the same funny shit that Chelsea gets in to. From pranking her staff with emails about bogus things, to taking her driver to Turks and Caicos, to faking a friends dog death to prank her bf Ted, and the last story about how she came to own Chunk. I have a weak spot for Chunk and Tammy, any story about them I want to know. Chelsea loves Tammy and Chunk to bits and they are her fur-children. This book had more stories about Chelsea's family which was even more funny. They have a different dynamic and that's a nice way of putting it (it's quite entertaining). Even the chapter titles are hilarious. The start was weak so I would give this book a 3.5 but I will give it a solid 3 stars. A few free laughs are always needed to keep the boring monotony of life from killing ya.