If life were a box of chocolates, there would be so many choices!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wp3m1vg06Q
Here is the famous I Love Lucy episode at the chocolate factory!
This episode makes me think of so many things. Good thing we all aren't chocolates in Lucy's box or we'd all be eaten!
RADICAL ACCEPTANCE
This is something my therapist is working with me on. The main point of radical acceptance is to accept things the way they are. It's like an 'is what it is' stance on life. Radical acceptance does not mean that you approve of something.
This is the definition that i found:
“Radical acceptance is the practice of accepting life on its own terms and finding effective strategies to cope with whatever is happening. It doesn't mean being passive, but accepting "what is" with the understanding that you have the power of choice. Practicing radical acceptance is a choice that can ease stress and depression and enhance your overall quality of life.”
Out of all the strategies i am learning/have learned about to assist me, this is the one that i find the hardest. It's like trying to live your life without judgements but harder. Hell, all the strategies are hard, and some drive me batty just thinking about them. This one takes the cake. I have tried to add things to my daily mantra, such as the phrase “it is what it is”. I was depressed one time and i actually bought a cake with the saying on it and every time i had a piece of cake i was reminded. This method may not be advisable as you could possibly end up eating the cake by yourself, but it sure did help me. There are some examples that come to mind, where i used this and it actually reduced mental anguish and anxiety. Eg. Not getting riled up or upset about scheduling issues at work, having a day where everything seems to be going wrong, accepting that you don't really like a dear friends boyfriend but still trying to remember that it is her choice who she is with, understanding that there will always be some type of drama within your immediate family. Like i said, some of these are easier to work on and deal with then others, but it's the fact that you notice and are trying to make a change in your life. Small steps eventually will lead to giant leaps, and sure there will be the occasional set back, but we all have those from time to time.
A good personal example for me was that i used to get riled up about the scheduling at work. I thought it wouldn't be that hard to do and it's all about timing and making everything go together smoothly without disruption of a well working wheel. I never understood why one person would have lunch at one time and then the next day it would be at a totally different time. It got to the point where it drove me batty.... so batty, i ended up getting sick from stress and drama that i had riled up myself. So i went to my therapist and said, “I need to learn how to deal with this so that i am not getting sick about something i have no control over, or power to change.” She calmly looked at me and said, “This is a perfect time to practice radical acceptance. You can't change anything about the situation. You have no power regarding it. It is what it is. The time spent worrying and thinking about it gets you more upset you and angry. Is it really worth putting that much energy into when all it does it make you upset and angry, and then you get more upset and angry when you vent about it or re-hash it.” So i took those words of wisdom and changed my approach to the way things were carried on at work. When someone would/does ask me “Why are you working that shift? Why have they got you coming back at such and such a time? Etc.” I simply just say “I don't know” and put my hands up in the air in the all around sign for i don't know, maybe throw in a shoulder shrug to complete it. Now sometimes i say it with attitude or roll my eyes, but in the end that is not the appropriate thing to do because it conveys my displeasure of what is going on..... That's where judgements come into play, and i am trying to work hard on them as well. Judgements occur every minute of everyday of our lives. Whether we are judging ourselves, family, friends, co-workers or anyone else we have contact with. The point is to notice that you are making them and re-phrase the statement to exclude the judgements. A wise person summed it up as using only “Facts and Emotions”.
Eg. (This commonly happens to me!) You're driving on the road and a person turns in front of your car when they clearly do not have enough time or it's not their right of way. I usually say something like, DORK!, IDIOT!, MORON!, or a long list of expletives depending on the severity. I should notice that i am judging, which i usually do, but then the next step is to take the judgement and re-frame it. So only using facts and emotions, re-framing the above (single word statement) “It makes me angry when people swerve in front of me on the road.” It's the long version but it is non-judgemental.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
i'm still alive but i'm going on vacay very soon!!
Well here i am again apologizing for a long over due blog post. It's been quite a while since my last post and i have been busy and blah blah blah, excuse, excuse, excuse. What really encouraged me to write again was, i got the following comments from readers:
“i keep checking back anxiously awaiting a new post from your ever so interesting life!!! and nothing!!! get on it girl :)
from a fan”
“This is wonderful blog. I love it.”
“i wish u would write more about yr tats. that would be cool to know.'
So i thought to myself, my blog is not a site that people have to go to. Some find it in their travels, some look for it and well the rest, I'm not too sure about. But from comments like that, how could i not write again. It might take a day or two to come with a post that contains all the up to date information i want but i figured that people get something from my blog, just like i get something from writing it. People clearly enjoy reading it, whether it be hilarious or emotional, or my battle with my latest demons. I guess my blog is not only and information point but also a place where people can say in an informal way “I get what you're going through” or “I feel the same way”. Yep you got it, i have statcounter which tracks how many people visit my site. And over the last 4 and a bit years it's been over 18,000 people. Now for a blog that is just my sanctuary for me to write whatever i please i think that number is great. There are a lot of first timers but the thing that i enjoy most is there is more and more returning visitors. (I must be doing something right....right?) So a large apology once again, and i know you readers understand that life gets in the way but that is no excuse to pause the saga of SG!
WORK
I want to say that the people i work with are a good gang and especially in the room i work in. We enjoy the kids and we definitely are a good mixture of personalities that work well off of each other. Having a job that i like makes the most of everyday that i work. Work usually flies by and i have been employed there for 7 months at the end of April. I get to see children doing the most simple of activities, ie. Teaching themselves how to use a scooter, learning how to talk, developing social relationships, etc. As i watch these examples progress and move forward, I find it totally fascinating. The most recent being a girl that is in my room, taught herself how to use a scooter. She was resilient and kept trying even though she fell pretty hard a few times. She didn't shed a tear and she was determined to not let the scooter get the best of her. Now keep in mind the kids i work with are between the ages of 2 and 3 years old. So watching this girl progress and not get discouraged was a perfect metaphor for a lot of things. She could have let herself cry and get upset when she took her first tumble but because she is a strong willed young girl she battled that beast of a scooter and in the end triumphed.
TV
With another season of Jersey Shore finished, I am once again sad to see it go. I enjoy this show so much. It's a drama pirates delight. There's tons of booty and a large quantity of loot displayed. Snooki with her poof-a-matic hair (insert an air nozzle and watch it grow before your eyes), forget Jenni it's more like Jenni's boobs (Jwoww is my fav chick character for sure though). Mike the “Snitch-uation” aptly named by Vinny. DJ Pauly D with his defying gravity hair. Vinny (there's not much to say about him because he's my favourite guy character). And lastly of course, i can't forget to mention Ron (his laugh is like steve urkel gone wrong!). People that don't make my favs list are Sammi (the sneaky bitch) and sorry Deena but you make this list too because even though you're a blast in a glass you just didn't make the cut. Now if you haven't watched the roast of donald trump i will just let you in on a little secret, just because the characters on jersey shore are great on that tv show, doesn't mean they should try anything else, like the Situation tried to do comedy and sadly failed. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtNmatV7-Ls) It's more like the introduction of him was hilarious and his own routine flopped...big surprise. And this version of the clip is also perfect for displaying when he FAILs! Sure opening your own tanning bronzer product line (Jwoww) or fashion line (Snooki) is a great idea but please STAY AWAY FROM COMEDY...
VACAY
Once again i am the trip down south to see and live with my other half.... my bffx7. I got a great deal on a flight and my job had no problem with me going on vacay. I am going to be spending my Easter Holiday with my bffx7. We are going to run the isle Rs&Sg style! Get ready Cayman bc you won't be able to handle it. We are going to eat and treat like queens. We are going to take horses swimming in the Caribbean Sea. Crystal blue will be our foreground and sky blue will be our back drop. I went today and got my travel insurance (just to be safe!) and the 9 days are going to fly by. I can't wait to have favourite meals that i look forward to all year round till i go. Indian, Italian, Ala Kebab, and so much more. I don't know but i might be even as adventurous to try turtle an island delicacy. So here is my dedication to you my Rs. You are the bread to my butter. The milk in my hot chocolate. The caramel in my macchiatto. You are the vinegar for my chips. The ink to my tattoo. Without one there is no other half. I can't wait to see you and be with you for 9 special days. That's a shout out just for you!
END OF UPDATE
I know i only gave you three categories and an apology but i will have time when i am on holidays to shout out to my followers! I promise i will keep you updated as to how my adventures go and whether or not i get another tattoo! Love you all from the bottom of my heart <3
Ps- I have been clean of my habits of pot usage for 158 days and smoke from ciggies for 67! I'm keeping up the progress and am more then happy with how i am feeling!
“i keep checking back anxiously awaiting a new post from your ever so interesting life!!! and nothing!!! get on it girl :)
from a fan”
“This is wonderful blog. I love it.”
“i wish u would write more about yr tats. that would be cool to know.'
So i thought to myself, my blog is not a site that people have to go to. Some find it in their travels, some look for it and well the rest, I'm not too sure about. But from comments like that, how could i not write again. It might take a day or two to come with a post that contains all the up to date information i want but i figured that people get something from my blog, just like i get something from writing it. People clearly enjoy reading it, whether it be hilarious or emotional, or my battle with my latest demons. I guess my blog is not only and information point but also a place where people can say in an informal way “I get what you're going through” or “I feel the same way”. Yep you got it, i have statcounter which tracks how many people visit my site. And over the last 4 and a bit years it's been over 18,000 people. Now for a blog that is just my sanctuary for me to write whatever i please i think that number is great. There are a lot of first timers but the thing that i enjoy most is there is more and more returning visitors. (I must be doing something right....right?) So a large apology once again, and i know you readers understand that life gets in the way but that is no excuse to pause the saga of SG!
WORK
I want to say that the people i work with are a good gang and especially in the room i work in. We enjoy the kids and we definitely are a good mixture of personalities that work well off of each other. Having a job that i like makes the most of everyday that i work. Work usually flies by and i have been employed there for 7 months at the end of April. I get to see children doing the most simple of activities, ie. Teaching themselves how to use a scooter, learning how to talk, developing social relationships, etc. As i watch these examples progress and move forward, I find it totally fascinating. The most recent being a girl that is in my room, taught herself how to use a scooter. She was resilient and kept trying even though she fell pretty hard a few times. She didn't shed a tear and she was determined to not let the scooter get the best of her. Now keep in mind the kids i work with are between the ages of 2 and 3 years old. So watching this girl progress and not get discouraged was a perfect metaphor for a lot of things. She could have let herself cry and get upset when she took her first tumble but because she is a strong willed young girl she battled that beast of a scooter and in the end triumphed.
TV
With another season of Jersey Shore finished, I am once again sad to see it go. I enjoy this show so much. It's a drama pirates delight. There's tons of booty and a large quantity of loot displayed. Snooki with her poof-a-matic hair (insert an air nozzle and watch it grow before your eyes), forget Jenni it's more like Jenni's boobs (Jwoww is my fav chick character for sure though). Mike the “Snitch-uation” aptly named by Vinny. DJ Pauly D with his defying gravity hair. Vinny (there's not much to say about him because he's my favourite guy character). And lastly of course, i can't forget to mention Ron (his laugh is like steve urkel gone wrong!). People that don't make my favs list are Sammi (the sneaky bitch) and sorry Deena but you make this list too because even though you're a blast in a glass you just didn't make the cut. Now if you haven't watched the roast of donald trump i will just let you in on a little secret, just because the characters on jersey shore are great on that tv show, doesn't mean they should try anything else, like the Situation tried to do comedy and sadly failed. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtNmatV7-Ls) It's more like the introduction of him was hilarious and his own routine flopped...big surprise. And this version of the clip is also perfect for displaying when he FAILs! Sure opening your own tanning bronzer product line (Jwoww) or fashion line (Snooki) is a great idea but please STAY AWAY FROM COMEDY...
VACAY
Once again i am the trip down south to see and live with my other half.... my bffx7. I got a great deal on a flight and my job had no problem with me going on vacay. I am going to be spending my Easter Holiday with my bffx7. We are going to run the isle Rs&Sg style! Get ready Cayman bc you won't be able to handle it. We are going to eat and treat like queens. We are going to take horses swimming in the Caribbean Sea. Crystal blue will be our foreground and sky blue will be our back drop. I went today and got my travel insurance (just to be safe!) and the 9 days are going to fly by. I can't wait to have favourite meals that i look forward to all year round till i go. Indian, Italian, Ala Kebab, and so much more. I don't know but i might be even as adventurous to try turtle an island delicacy. So here is my dedication to you my Rs. You are the bread to my butter. The milk in my hot chocolate. The caramel in my macchiatto. You are the vinegar for my chips. The ink to my tattoo. Without one there is no other half. I can't wait to see you and be with you for 9 special days. That's a shout out just for you!
END OF UPDATE
I know i only gave you three categories and an apology but i will have time when i am on holidays to shout out to my followers! I promise i will keep you updated as to how my adventures go and whether or not i get another tattoo! Love you all from the bottom of my heart <3
Ps- I have been clean of my habits of pot usage for 158 days and smoke from ciggies for 67! I'm keeping up the progress and am more then happy with how i am feeling!
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