Wednesday, December 26, 2007

DON'T WASTE THE PRETTY GIRLS



Dear Reader,

The last post was about a guy from my past and that my lesson was learned. Well I thought my lesson was learned and that I was going to stay away from this guy…ha not so easy. I was going to message him the other day and then I didn’t but tonight my will power failed greatly. I messaged him and it was a big mistake because I should have just let well enough alone. I finished reading HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. I read this book to stick with my last post and be strong and I really did learn a lot from the book again. It got me thinking about people from my past and things that are going on currently. It would appear that both the guys that were ‘into me’ are clearly not. It’s a tough pill to swallow when you come to the realization that a guy isn’t into you, he may be into the idea of you but not the real thing. So for the ladies that check out my blog a bit I am going to put up the a few things that I learned from the book. (*Note that these things are quoted directly from the book and if you think about it they do make sense)

STANDARD SUGGESTIONS
- I will not go out with a man who hasn’t asked me out first.
- I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.
- I will not date a man who isn’t sure he wants to date me.
- I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable.
- I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable.
- I will not be with a man who’s afraid to talk about our future.
- I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me.
- I will not date a man who is married.
- I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good kind, loving person.

(Reader- I will admit to you now, I have broken every suggestion except the married man one. It’s sad but it’s true.)

SEEMINGLY INNOCENT WORDS AND PHRASES THAT CAN ALSO BE USED FOR EVIL

(Key for below) Word - WHAT IT SHOULD MEAN: - WHAT IS SOMETIMES MEANS:
Friend- I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. -I’m just not that into you.
Busy- I was just inaugurated president of the United States today.- I’m just not that into you.
Bad Boy -A guy you should stay away from. -A guy you should stay away from.
I’m not ready -I can’t find my pants. -I’m just not that into you.
Call me -I just dropped my cell phone in the ocean and I lost your number. -I’m just not that into you.
Not into family- I don’t want to date your mom. -I’m just not that into you.
Fear of intimacy -A fear of being intimate. -I’m just not that into you.

(Reader- I will admit again that I have had every single one of these excuses. Why I fell for that stupid bullshit I have no idea, there’s a variety of reasons for sure.)

None of us women should be running around chasing guys that don’t want to put the time and effort into us like we are willing to do for them. (Funny enough as I write this post I am listening to the song HURTS TO LOVE YOU by the Philosopher Kings) Fate can be a real stunner sometimes and it can knock you on your ass big time. This is not the first time I have been disappointed that a guy was not into me but geez I keep falling for it. You would think I would learn my lesson, I just don’t know why it’s not sticking

The best quote I got from this book was

DON’T WASTE THE PRETTY

On a side note, I had a pretty good Christmas. My parents and I spent the day together yesterday. The day was filled with lots of good food and other good things. My mum watched Mr. Beans Holiday and found it medium and even though we didn’t have a Christmas tree a very dear person gave me a tree that can be used for every Christmas and it doesn’t take a lot to put up….THANK YOU! A shout out to my parents for giving me really good gifts but having a good day with me! The dogs loved their gifts and the cats haven’t really realized there’s gifts for them yet. Today wasn’t too bad, I helped out with the barn but then I did a whole lot of nothing. I took some pics of the farm and how the frost was on the trees, some good ones for the collection. The top half of the blog post really explains how I am feeling though.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Lesson Learned


Dear Reader,

I did one of the silliest things that I have ever done last night. I actually met up with a guy from my past, our history was bad, and then brought him home without my dad knowing. I feel uber guilty for what I did, and a few people are disappointed with me, most of all I am disappointed in myself. Letting this person in my house while dad was sleeping was a huge sign of disrespect for my father. I am not going to tell him because he would lose it right now if I did and that would be the end of me probably. I told two people that are close to me and they are not happy with the decision I made and quite frankly neither am I. I thought this person had really changed and was trying to be different, but I am going to say this to you reader…. I am very fragile right now. For those who know me and have talked to me they know the reasons, for you reader I will just keep it in easy going terms (…I am fragile).If you reader asked me why I did what I did, I can’t really tell you what possessed me. I was so anxious that all I could do the entire time was shake like a leaf. Nothing happened and my 2nd virginity is still in tact. Maybe I was trying to rebel, maybe it was impulse, maybe it was something I don’t really know or understand yet. The first step is admitting that I did something wrong, and I fully take responsibility. The second step is making sure I don’t find myself in the same situation with the same person. This might be hard but this is where I need to think about myself, what I can handle and what the future may lead to. For myself I need to say no because I need to have confidence, dignity and respect for me so that I don’t put myself in that situation again. The idea of being able to handle the situation is out of the question, I plain out cannot handle it or the drama it will bring. For the future I think this would lead me in the wrong direction, make things at home worse then they already are with my dad, and it could lead to me getting burned.

I have to be strong and stand up for myself, and that’s what I need to keep repeating in my mind. I have to think of how an adult would handle the situation, and I clearly did not handle it like an adult. I handled the situation like a rebellious teenager. A rebellious teenager I am not. Sticking with my beliefs and ‘guns’ is what will make me stronger and let me learn from this situation, and that’s what I have to do… no other options with suffice.