Dear Reader,
So i was talking with a guy on Sunday and it was very odd how things just clicked. We were finishing each others sentences and feeling the same emotions towards each other. For a moment, ok 2 hours, I thought I had found my prince charming.This guy was really something special, said all the right things, knew how to make a girl feel good.
Then my feelings started to change..... I started to analyze the situation and how we communicated.... I came to the realization that this gentleman was not the one for me.
It was hard. I thought about him a lot. I'd been single for a while so maybe I thought my time had come.
Nope....sorry....try the next stop.
When we spoke the conversation was very intellectual. I get excited when a person wants to have a stimulating (not in the wrong way, ok that would be nice, but i'm thinking the way of making your brain muscle do a bit of work) conversation. I'm a sucker for it. I feed off it sometimes. There was something about how this guy talked to me though. It was more of a talk at you type of style or what i would call preachy. Always checking to make sure i was not bothering him. Very polite, but too polite in a repititive type of way. Monday went by and then Tuesday went by. He called both days and we had only just started talking on Sunday. I felt like this person was checking up on me, or checking in with me. I thought for only talking one, now two days he is calling me all the time, this can't be right. I was strong enough to tell him over the phone that I really did not want to continue conversation with him in hopes of leading to a relationship because I didn't like the way he talked to me. If i talk to a person i want them to be my equal, no more no less. I don't want to tell them my life story and lessons that i have learned the hard way in a mere 2 hour conversation.
So then since i told this fellow that there was no real chance of us getting together it has had me thinking about how i act and treat guys that i am interested in. I more or less jump in with two feet right from the start, for a guy that has to be a scary thing because this person doesn't even know you. I know that's how i felt. It's like the person is asking for a commitment before there is need for one. I also like to be forward with guys, if i like them, i tell them. I make it known that you are the apple of my eye. This too has to be scary for guys because most of the ones i like are either: too young, already taken, or simply not interested in me in anyway. This experience has made me see things from a different view. I am re-thinking my stalker-ish ways and forward approaches. I think subtly is what i need to be. I need to wait for prince charming to show up on his steed and whisk me away. In all this self-recognition i have learned that men don't like being treated like a piece of meat, things will happen when they are ready and until then it is self discovery time.
So out I pull my magnifying glass to examine what I can of myself....and eventually others!
