Tribute To Abby

So i just turned 28 on November 4, 2011. Probably one of the worst birthdays ever. I had to put my dear cat, Abby, down. She may have had a brain tumour and at the end it was so bad that she was in a coma and incontinent. She may have had little or no eye sight and she had lost all recognition. She would gaze in a trance most of the time. Me and my other cat, Zoe, are very lonely. We are relying on each other to get through this time of grieving. I have had strong urges to use/drink but i have been good and not had a single drop/toke. I am kind of in a trance myself. I don't really feel like myself and any emotion whether good or bad just registers as nothing. I don't really care about myself which is not good and can sometimes put me in compromised situations. The worst part of it all was slowly watching my AbbyCat fade into a nothing-type state. She didn't want to eat and could hardly move. I can only imagine what the world looked like to her near the end, if she even noticed it all. My therapist said to do anything i need to avoid self medicating with inappropriate substances. I have just chosen to stay away from them altogether but damn! It would definitely help. What i would give to feel numb again, especially right now. I don't feel happy and today i should be happier then a pig in shit. I went for my last appointment at the fracture clinic and got to be completely cast-less. It's been 3 months since i've been able to be totally independent, from showering to driving. The driving i missed the most. You never really realize how hard it is to be a passenger. But getting back to my point, bc i feel so depressed i can hardly smile or be joyous. I have turned inward and don't really want to talk to people. Sometimes communicating with family is difficult but it's not their fault so i make the extra effort. Before i had to put Abby down i was edgy, always wondering if i was going to find her dead. It was one of the harder things i have ever had to experience.

I want to remember the good things about Abby:
-we saved her life when she showed up at the farm, so anaemic she was barely existing
-she loved living at the farm
-she really enjoyed laying out on the pavement when it was warm and sunny
-in the winter, i remember her being curled up under the heat lamps nice and toasty
-sometimes i would put my gloves underneath her body so they would get extra warm under the heat lamp
-she loved to eat, food was her passion in life
-when she moved the apartment with me she made a perch on top of the couch
-she would sit on her perch staring out the patio door for hours
-in the summer she would lay out on the patio and just be a beach bum minus the beach
-she loved playing with her toy ferrets
-eventually, she would play with anything that would rattle when she batted it around
-the kitty condo was her sanctuary and i'm sure if she could have gone in the hammock she would have
-she had the most loving gaze, it was something that would truly melt your heart
-when i came home from work or something, she would greet me with a friendly meow
-even though her and Zoe had tiffs, they were the best of friends
-they would bake in the sun together on the warm days of summer
-Abby was a really chill cat, she loved lounging around the house
-afternoon naps were something she lived by
-she loved Nana, and when Nana visited she would be with her non-stop
-Nana always babied her and she loved it
-when she purred she sort of murmured like a pigeon
Dear Abby,
Zoe and I miss you every day. It's really lonely without you but we are glad that you aren't suffering anymore. We hope to meet you at rainbow bridge.

Half Broke Horses

Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This is a great prequel to The Glass Castle. In a way i wish that i read this book first. It would have given me great background as to why jeannette walls mother RoseMary was the way she was. Walls has this wonderful way of telling the story. It's like you don't want to put the book down for fear that you might miss something. The story is in the details for sure. Always something going on. This book created the base for Jeannette having such strong family values. Although i wish that i had read this book first i was glad to be able to read it and get a more indepth history as to Walls' upbringing. Great tale of life on the western frontier.



View all my reviews

Night Circus

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This book was pretty good. It captured the magic and wonder of the circus even though it was written for a different time/era. The characters were strong and they were interesting to get to know. It took me a little bit longer to finish the book but i think i was savouring the magic and creative details within the story. Although i found the love story a little lame, it was different then no other i have read. It all related to a challenge started long before the circus existed. The circus was a first of it's kind a there probably never would have been one like it. It was a pretty special book. Kind of reminded me of my childhood and the exciting time of one a year going to the circus and seeing the magic and tricks/stunts underneath this huge but incredible tent. Brought back good memories. I wish there was a circus like the one mentioned in the book as it would defy any magic there is out there today.



View all my reviews

The Silent Girl

The Silent Girl by Tess Gerritsen

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


This book was alright. Not as good and some of the other books that i have read by gerritsen. I found the story pretty boring until about pgs 150-180, then somewhere in there the story got a little more interesting. The unfortunate thing was that i found the story didn't have an amazing climax and therefore i was left thinking "Yeah, so.........". This was one of the books where i found the characters of Rizzoli and Isles to both be very weak, which was another downfall. On the positive side the book was a very easy read, and there wasn't a lot of thinking involved to try and figure out the WHO?WHAT?WHERE?WHEN?WHY?HOW?. After reading this book i think i will make the decision to stick with her medical thrillers as that is where i think Gerritsen's forte truly is.



View all my reviews

THE GLASS CASTLE

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This was an amazing memoir that proves the 'rags to riches' fallacy can be true. Walls lived a hard life growing up. Moving round from place to place, not really having a fixed address, or living in a house that should have been condemned. Throughout her life Walls faces toil and trouble, ie. gets burnt at age 3 making hot dogs for herself and has to go through serious medical treatment involving skin grafts, has a drunk for a father, experiences rape and perverts, and yet she still makes the story an amazing tale with her being the heroin and getting a university deqree. The dysfunction in her family is what makes the story even harder to put down. Her father implants in the children's heads that they will one day live in a glass castle and life will be perfect. A perfect life in Walls early years was far from feasible. At some points she had to work multiple jobs, ie. babysitting, doing other students essays/projects, working at small jobs, just so that she would be able to fulfill the duties of a parent so that the rest of the kids in the family would have food to eat. Although Walls mum and dad were quite flake-y, they did try to instill good values within their children, like the importance of education, how reading and writing will help with your daily lives, how to be resourceful without being wasteful, at some point everything needs a little love. Some of the values were taken to the extent which was too much, like helping mum grade papers and fill out her lesson plans to keep her teaching job, eating all the food till it was gone even it was rotten. New York ended up being the promised land for Jeannette and her brother Brian, and sister Lori. Once they escaped their parents they were able to make decent lives for themselves and live the american dream. Out of all the kids, the 3 of them got to live the dream and do what they loved. It must have been devastating to watch the baby of the family, Maureen, go down the same road that her parents did but once she left for good, one has to imagine that her life got better or somewhat improved.

This book touched every part of me, had me laughing, had me wanting to cry, had me feeling sorry for certain characters that would not get out of their rut. It touched every emotion possible and made you realize what you are to be lucky for. This book is a memoir but not like any other memoir i have read. It had more of a KANE AND ABEL feel but for an entire family, or at least the 3 that made something of themselves. The difference between this book and KANE AND ABEL is that the mother and father chose to live a life of hard work and poverty. There were steps they could have taken and chose not to, things that could have helped them out. The most interesting thing about this book is that the struggle of the family was CHOSEN by the parents.



View all my reviews

Harvest

Harvest by Tess Gerritsen

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This book was absolutely fabulous. I was looking for something gritty when i went to the book store and the people were suggesting stuff and i decided to take this book. Then i started reading it and it was even better then what i had hoped for. For all those people who like their medical dramas, ie. ER, chicago hope, grey's anatomy, this book is 10 times better then those shows will ever be, even when they are in their peak air times. This book is down right dirty. Surgeons using words like 'cut' when opening somebody's body cavity during surgery, harvesting organs for transplants, medical jargon supreme. And another twist to this book, i didn't once figure out who was behind the crime, therefore making it even more fab! Tess Gerritsen hits this one out of the park and gives herself a chance at two homeruns instead of the proverbial one. LOVED IT (even minute, every heart beat!)



View all my reviews

A Secret Kept

A Secret Kept by Tatiana de Rosnay




I tried really hard to read this book and i just couldn't do it. I only read to 61 pages and i said to myself if it's not worth reading why waste my time. I can't even give this book any stars. I guess i was looking for another solid read like Sarah's Key. This book didn't even come close. The first 61 pages were ridiculous. There was a lot of jumping around in time. Lots of memories and stuff. I just didn't care and was very disappointed. So i didn't get to find out what the secret kept was....... :0(



View all my reviews