Mish Mosh, Pish Posh! January 2, 2010!

So.... Today is the 2nd of January 2010. Man time flies! To all, i wish you a good new year and may the wishes and resolutions you made come true and it be a happy and prosperous year for you. In short: eat, drink and be merry, and enjoy your company!

I was able to stay up on New Years, which is a rarity for me. No, I didn't make any resolutions because i don't believe in making them and then breaking them. I want to write lots this year and keep up the good work i have done one staying clean.....today is day 20.

It is exactly 39 days till i leave for the Cayman Islands, where my BFF and i plan to rule the island for a solid 2 weeks. It will be a time of relaxation, tanning, good food, good company (which should be first), and FUN. I plan to either take my comp down or use my BFF"s comp and get some writing done and read some of the million books i got at Christmas. Maybe the easier thing for me to do is just take a memory schtick down and then put all my work and pictures on that.... then i won't have to travel with my comp! I will see what my friend advises is the best thing. When i go down and visit her i will also be giving her the long awaited christmas presents that i made for her! Oh i can't wait and neither can she! Maybe some Romeo will sweep me off my feet when i am away! (I doubt the last one will happen though!)

As a treat i am going to give you a short little writing exercise from my WRITER'S BOOK OF MATCHES, which was given to me by my mentor.

Prompt= AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN BECOMES OBSESSED WITH HER IMPERCEPTIBLE FLAWS.

I sit at the mirror and I think what is wrong with me. Why will no guy stay around. Is it because I love sex and they can't keep up? Or maybe the fact that sometimes i would rather just have my way with them and then have them leave. Or.... maybe they see something that i cannot see or that something comes up on their radar when i am around them. I have started to be critical of everything. The way I dress, the way i do my hair, the way i act around them. Nothing seems to be working. There has to be something that i don't recognize that they automatically see that makes me untouchable. Sure, I've talked with guys, gone on a few dates, even got to the point where i like a few of these guys, but when it comes to them coming back or even returning a simple message, I get deleted....erased. It has happened so many times that i get a little bit hurt but the pain isn't as much as it used to be. I've started to prepare myself before i go into anything now, that this guy won't be here long and then the next will come along after he's done and then he will move on after a little bit as well. A vicious circle where i am unhappy and alone. My friend has it all:the body, the looks, the great job, a man who is by her side and won't leave (actually that's to a bad point at times). As i get older i want to settle down each day more and more. I want to be able to come home and have a meal with my man and then cuddle and watch a movie. Maybe i am trying to hard to figure out what these flaws are... maybe that's why they remain hidden and i am still on my own. Although, i am getting to the point where i am ready to say "Fuck it. I am who i am. If you want to be in my life you have to love me flaws and all!" But as a side note i would like to say, "Can you tell me what that hidden flaw is because it's bugging the hell out of me."