Fuck those damn lemons!

Do you ever wonder why people say "when life hands you lemons make lemonade?"

I sure do. First I think, well why is life handing you lemons! Second, who wants lemons anyway can't it be something different like a bag of garbage (so you can dispose of it), a crap in the toilet (you can flush that away and then febreeze if it's that bad), or dirty laundry (wash the crap out so that it smells sparkling fresh). All my ideas get rid of the problem, they don't use the problem to make something tasty per say out of it. Third, Lemonade...geez i want a non-alcoholic margarita, peach and mango slushy, or daquiri.....Fuck the stupid lemonade.

So if you get my drift from above you can tell that i have been handed some lemons if you will. Hell, i got cartons and cartons of lemons, it wasn't enough to make some lemonade it's an abundance so large that i can have my own lemon stand at the local flea market. Life isn't as peachy keen as it was and my ego and pride are taking a major blow. I feel that ice cream is my salvation but in the last 2 days i have felt like crap just from one bowl, thanks lactose intolerance! So, even though i want to have some comfort it just makes me feel rotten, great solution eh! I am trying to avoid dairy like the plague because apparently i can't handle it right now but let me send this message out to all MOOSETRACKS containers out there "I love you and want to eat you!"

I was lucky enough to visit a very dear friend of mine yesterday and talk about everything. His best quality, among many, he's a great listener. He tells me how it is and gives me hugs which is what i need in this torturous state. He makes me smile and then we get talking about something else, like golf! I am going to see him again today because as Paul Child said, "He's the butter to my bread!" yes i know i am leaving out the breath to my life part but he's a dear friend and he knows when Sarah is feeling shitty just what to say.

So my quest is to eat carbs instead of ice cream. When you are depressed you crave carbs because they have extra serotonin in them, which is what you are lacking. So i have to eat carbs as much as i can before 3 pm and then just protein after that. Not a pig fest but depends how i feel. I will not be denying myself that tasty french fry unless i need to! And sleep, yes i am sleeping around 16 hours a day but apparently i need to. I can't push myself because i don't have the motivation but you know what, my bed is damn comfortable, maybe there's a secret way that serotonin is transmitted through my covers, hence i spend so much time there!

I will keep plugging away in hopes that things will get better. They should ..... shouldn't they? YES! that's a resounding answer. Wish me luck!