the con-function junction!

The lyrics from Lisa Loeb's song “Stay” are in my head.

You say I only hear what i want to.

So for some reason i decided to write this poem to certain songs. I wanted to write about something that has been weighing on my mind for quite sometime. I guess the best way to describe it is that the words come from a place inside me that i very rarely show in person. I am getting better at asserting myself and trying but the road isn't always that easy. As you readers know, i come here and air out my clean/dirty laundry and i feel better.........relieved, actually. I decided to ponder and write down somethings that are going on in my head. My blog is always a sacred place to me so i figured what a good place to share what i was thinking. I wrote it in poem form to the 2 songs noted. It's still a work in progress but it gets down the 'bones' of what i am feeling.


MY VERSION:

You say i only hear what i want to.
But really you do all the talking, you do.
You want me to keep in touch,
but it doesn't matter much.
You want me to call to find out the case,
i know the answer and i think it's just a waste.

You say i only do what i want to.
That's true, it's just what you do.
You say i don't care, and that's not true
You are the one who doesn't care what i do.

(change song to Natalie Imbruglia's “Torn”)

I watched you change throughout your life
Never seemed to pick up on the real strife
You couldn't be that friend that i adored
You don't seem to care what this friendship's for
I don't know you anymore
It's not like when we used to talk
It's like a blackboard without the chalk.
The conversation has run out,
I don't care what you bitch about.

(change song to Lisa Loeb's “Stay”)

It's supposed be like you were never gonna leave
Instead that idea is just one reprieve.
Say you're gonna call, but you never really do
Say you wanna talk, but it's only about you.
You said that i was naive and, i thought i was strong
I thought hey i can leave, i can leave
And it started me writing this song
I really miss you but i don't know what to say
I want to talk but i leave it just for days
I want to make it work but it's never gonna change
You think we're gettin' closer but we're gettin' more estranged


So that's what i have and that's what i feel. I just tried to write it like a song and it was pretty tricky. It makes me appreciate those who right their own songs and stuff it's really hard. Just had to get this off my chest. I guess the main part is that i never changed. Ok, i did change. I learned to control, discuss and manage my emotions better then i ever have. You were the one that did change. You changed into a person that only cares about them self, and won't listen to anyone else. I don't know what else to say or where to go from here.