Is that all you have to offer POF......COME ON!

Hey there !

So happy to have met you here tonight.

I opened an account at Plentyoffish, once again. I have to say i am not totally keen on the internet dating seen but i don't meet a lot of guys in my regular life so i thought i would try it again but this time i value myself more then before so really trying to stay away from the one night-er situations. I've done amazing so far. I had a weird situation only once but i doubt that guy will be calling me ever again. He started telling me that i had a sexy voice, which i thought was a compliment. It's nice when people notice stuff about you that you never really realized about yourself. So we are talking about stuff, ie. What we do for work, what we do in our spare time......AND then he starts telling me that he is going to spank his wank while he's talking to me. I have to be totally honest, when he told me that my response was “Are you kidding me?” in a question type way and when he admitted No he wasn't, i was very repetitive and said it again but with a more you've got to be kidding me type tone. So then he says that i can continue talking about whatever i want, but this is after he tries to convince me to diddle myself. Like frig bud, it's the first time talking to you and i really don't think this is appropriate. If i wanted to be a phone sex operator i would at least make sure that i get paid for talking to people if that's what they are going to do on the other end of the line. I would be asking for a credit card number asap and it wouldn't matter what your name was. ALAS, I'M NOT A PHONE SEX OPERATOR (just wanted to write that for clarification......although i'm sure that some conversations would make it here to the blog for an entertainment factor if i was a phone sex operator!) Back to the story..........So i am talking to this guy and he really isn't paying attention to a damn thing I say. He starts panting like a bitch in heat and I had to say “Are you for real?” He very calmly told me yes he was real and that he would appreciate if i helped him finish by saying “Matthew cum.” So i did, but it was more in a pissed off housewife way. You know like the wife that doesn't want to have sex with her husband anymore and it's like she would rather stab herself in the eye with a fork. Here's my example “Arghhhhh. Fine! MATTHEW (eye rolls accompanied with huffs and puffs) cum.” When i went to therapy my therapist asked the question why did you continue to talk to him, you could have left the conversation and essentially abandoned ship on that one. I said that's a lot better then what i have done in the past and i think that i deserve more, FUCK i know i deserve more then a 2 minute hand junky! I guess though i should have terminated the discussion when he asked me if i was a woman with a big butt. I don't really know any women that would say in a pleasant way “Yeah, I've got a big butt! And i'm proud of it” Most women think of having a big butt as a disadvantage and in most regular situations it is! I explained my reasoning on answering the question with a plain and simple “i don't know”. Sure i've got an ass that covers 10 counties but it's not because i am happy with it, it's cause i can't lay off the god damn ICE CREAM! (but i didn't tell him that response because i didn't think it would help at all, knowing my luck he would've asked me if i would pour chocolate sauce on it and lick it off like he was having some bodacious sundae) So why didn't i terminate the convo after that question? Well up to that point i was just in shock that if this was that guys pick up routine it was L-A-M-E. But wait this entry isn't over yet because it gets better. He starts telling me that he met a woman from the gym and she was a lot older then him (his response was 43) which is a good 15 years. I didn't know what to say so i said, “well she must have been a babe” WTF was i thinking, she probably had a big butt too! So then he says that he had this weird encounter with her. They were having sex and then he put her underwear on and they finished having sex with her underwear ON HIM. That's right he was wearing her underpants, and he was very clear that he enjoys women in thongs. So knowing his luck it would have been something in the dental floss category. Now i thought, i was shocked before i heard this, but after, my jaw was literally on the floor. All i could say was “Oh.....” and the dot dot dot means dead silence. DEAD like ran over with a car and there's no chance of life ever again. So once i finished saying MATTHEW cum i said that i had to go out, even though i can't really go anywhere since i fell at work and have a cast on my right ankle and left wrist (yep broke both). I figured why prolong this conversation anymore, he was happy with that response because he had band practice or something. I vaguely remember him telling me what instrument he played...........oh yeah that's right..........the SKIN FLUTE!

So my final time asking this question:

WHY DIDN'T I TERMINATE/END THIS CONVERSATION EARLIER?

The answer:

Plain and simple..............

i wanted to share it with you!

Keep on laughing! I know i still am!