I Miss You

Dear Reader,

I just finished watching PS I LOVE YOU with Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler, Lisa Kudrow, Gina Gershon, and Kathy Bates to name a few. This movie was excellent but I will be quite candid with you dear reader, for the last half of the movie I was in complete and utter tears. Anything that happened brought on a running river of tears and then eventually I had to start blowing my nose because I was plugged up. The character of Gerry was, what I would assume, most women's ideal man. He was loving, caring and special in more ways then one. As I wrote in a previous post I was trying to make amends with the one, and this movie brought a flood of memories about him and I to the forefront. Yes I want to message him, but I know I shouldn't. If I could I would probably write the following:

PS I love you, I should have added it to the bottom of the letter I wrote to you. If you haven't watched the film then please do because even though the main character dies, I know that you do not want to think of me anymore so that's like someone being dead in a sense. This movie made me think of you so much. The glimmer Holly got in her eye when Gerry gave her that look. Gerry's huge, yet playful smile. Gerry's sense of adventure. The film talks about loneliness and how one tries to go about living their life after such an occurence. For me the break up we had was like that, and for 5 years +, I have kept every memory, every thought, and every special moment. I wish you could just accept that I had my issues then but would like to have a chance just once more.

I know this letter sound pathetic and what have you but all that I said in it is true. I have not let go of him and that has held me back for all this time. I am terrified to let go of him and everything that goes along with it because I don't want to forget some of my most passionate and memorable moments in life. In that relationship I learned so much and to just forget about it would be like burning a book to me. Books are precious and full of knowledge and to me it is almost criminal to hear of burning books or putting graffiti in them or other ways of destruction.
If only I could let go of him so that I could move on with my life. Another hard day that will be though... Please go to the this link to watch a wonderful and touching montage:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K9gLmsAGos&feature=email