What do you do when your world is just in a tumultous spinning frenzy?
What do you do when you feel that everything has truly gone to shit?
What do you do when you feel like you haven’t got a hope in the world?
What do you do when everything surrounds you is frightening?
What do you do when anxiety is all your life is full of?
What do you do when you feel you have no one to go to?
These feelings are all so horrific but life is horrific sometimes. Various people abandon you for certain feelings and emotions, maybe even for things that are out of your control. The breed of people that stick by you through thick and thin is dying as I write these words. Few people can be trusted and even when ‘tested’ then still can’t hold up to the challenge. When your brain doesn’t get a peaceful moment for a longtime, what else can you expect but anxious spinning feelings. When you are afraid of everything except 2 places, you’re forced into hermit status. That’s ok I have a lot of books and movies to keep me semi entertained but that only lasts so long. How many times are you to hear the same phrase over and over or read the same line again and again. The feeling that maybe intimacy is not possible for you because you have ‘bigger EMOTIONAL fish to fry’. What if you crave intimacy but are not in a place to deal with the emotions that will come, where do you go from there…. I am at a loss. Most things puzzle me right now. I wander around in a hopeless daze. I have learned to build up my façade so most people think I am functioning at a really good level. Reality… I don’t know if you want to know reality… it’s a lot to bear, even for myself. The few I trust and have told my emotions to are bound by confidentiality to keep it between me and them. Quite sad when confidentiality is the only factor that makes a trustful relationship. I have read the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley (which means unconquerable) many times, and I keep coming to the same jump off point… I am being conquered by my emotions. How do I get away from this place and conquer those emotions so that I can live up to my potential? The answer is lost in the great unknown to me, when I will find it is unsure. Maybe one day myself and it will cross paths and I will be taught a new language or code to deal with such hell. Answer, please come to me….I could use your help
.
What do you do when you feel that everything has truly gone to shit?
What do you do when you feel like you haven’t got a hope in the world?
What do you do when everything surrounds you is frightening?
What do you do when anxiety is all your life is full of?
What do you do when you feel you have no one to go to?
These feelings are all so horrific but life is horrific sometimes. Various people abandon you for certain feelings and emotions, maybe even for things that are out of your control. The breed of people that stick by you through thick and thin is dying as I write these words. Few people can be trusted and even when ‘tested’ then still can’t hold up to the challenge. When your brain doesn’t get a peaceful moment for a longtime, what else can you expect but anxious spinning feelings. When you are afraid of everything except 2 places, you’re forced into hermit status. That’s ok I have a lot of books and movies to keep me semi entertained but that only lasts so long. How many times are you to hear the same phrase over and over or read the same line again and again. The feeling that maybe intimacy is not possible for you because you have ‘bigger EMOTIONAL fish to fry’. What if you crave intimacy but are not in a place to deal with the emotions that will come, where do you go from there…. I am at a loss. Most things puzzle me right now. I wander around in a hopeless daze. I have learned to build up my façade so most people think I am functioning at a really good level. Reality… I don’t know if you want to know reality… it’s a lot to bear, even for myself. The few I trust and have told my emotions to are bound by confidentiality to keep it between me and them. Quite sad when confidentiality is the only factor that makes a trustful relationship. I have read the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley (which means unconquerable) many times, and I keep coming to the same jump off point… I am being conquered by my emotions. How do I get away from this place and conquer those emotions so that I can live up to my potential? The answer is lost in the great unknown to me, when I will find it is unsure. Maybe one day myself and it will cross paths and I will be taught a new language or code to deal with such hell. Answer, please come to me….I could use your help
.
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