What Matters To You?

Dear Reader,

It has been a while but there have been a few things that have sparked my interest to write this post to you. A very dear friend of mine, recently lost her mum. I feel for her and when I heard the news I was brought to tears. Her mum will not get to see her first born child or her brother's second child. This got me thinking about our time here on the planet. Some of us are here for a long time, a friend of my parents, her mother passed away at the age of 88. She had a long life and it was well lived. My friend's mum was only the age of 54, this hits close to home for me because my mum is going to be 57 in July. I can only imagine what my friend thought and felt as she watched her mum decline so rapidly. Not only is she pregnant and having to keep on top of that but she also had to deal with a matter that would break most people's hearts. She's sad and wishes her mum could be there but she knows she isn't suffering anymore and considers that a blessing. I put my heart out to both my friend and her mother.

At this point in writing this post I want to take a moment and I would like you to do the same. I want you to think about your time here. Have you accomplished what you wanted to this point? Do you still have goals and dreams that you are working and aspiring to? Have you made amends with those you had problems with? Have you gotten rid of any feelings of hatred? Do you know who you would miss the most, and why? What would you say to those people?

I know that there have been many accomplishments in my life to this point and I am still trying to reach other goals that I have set for myself. I know that I am at peace with my parents and that we have a good relationship and that we can talk about a variety of things. I know that as a writer, I am constantly trying to work and find new avenues to release and create my work. There are a few people that I have not made amends with but I can say that I tried and did all that I could. I have accepted responsibility for destroying particular relationships and then trying to make amends and apologizing for such poor behaviour. I have hatred within but each day if I can try and get rid of a modicum of it maybe there will be none one day. I would miss my parents and best friends. The people I can bear my soul to, the people that know the real me, through the good and the bad. I know that I would be reunited with my precious Phildog and that would mean the world to me.

Those are the things that matter to me right now!

Another letter, this time to Mr. Easter Bunny

Dear Reader,

I personally do not celebrate Easter. I know many of you out there do so enjoy your holiday. Eat good food, not over eat, just til you are full. Have a drink or whatever to celebrate with the fam, friends or even yourself.

If I did believe in the Easter bunny, would I write him a letter.....of course!

Dear Mr. Easter Bunny,

I don't know what your conditions are on granting wishes but I figure I have tried everyone else, (ie. Mother Nature, The Tooth Fairy, The 'Proverbial' God, even my parental units), so what's one more letter to someone with a special title.

Now, I'm not you're regular kid, adult actually but in someways I like to keep the kid status, so chocolate won't be necessary. There are some things of real importance that I was wondering if you could help me out with or direct me to the right person(s). I don't like the coloured eggs or the headbands with the bunny ears either, so don't pull a fast one and give me those instead. As I was saying I have a small list of things that might need some 'hop to it', if you will. I'm not going to be like a normal person either and ask for world peace, the end of hunger, or even the end of garbage production because well the people that I believe have the power to change such items are sitting on their duffers just watchin' it all go by. I am strictly going to ask for some stuff that will benefit me, only me, ok maybe someone else but it's still for my benefit.

1. If you could kindly alert Prince Charming to pop his head out of a freakin' hole and make himself comfortable in my apartment for me to have my way with him, that's a really good start.

2. Help me lose weight. I am working on it and giving it lots of effort, so the shedding of a few pounds would be nice!

3. Pay off all my credit card bills and any other bills. Yes, I incurred these while I was in the Cayman Islands and Las Vegas and it was damn fun, but having that hang over your head, well let's just say it doesn't give off a pleasant aura.

4. I wish for more wishes. It should have been more towards the beginning of the list, I realize that now but if you fulfill the 3 previous wishes I would be quite content.

5. I want to be a successful writer so please aid and abet this in any shape or form (only legal ways please). I understand that this is a tall order and it more has to do with my own achievements and goals but hey, can't blame me for trying the easy path!

Since I have already exceeded my quota of 3 wishes, and bumped it up to a nice 5, I should probably stop before I start rambling on about wanting: a mansion, a pool with jacuzzi, 7 different high end cars, independent wealth, and any bills or debts to be vanished/banished which ever you prefer.

Mr. Easter Bunny, I have been so kind to as give you the title as Mr. Before the “Easter Bunny” stuff as a sign of respect. I hope this comes through my letter as well. If not, I tried. (Can't believe every freakin' holiday character.) (ooops shouldn't have wrote that, )

Regards,
Sarah

Dear Mother Nature.....

Dear Reader,

Since we have had yet again, another dumping of snow I thought it might be wise to write a little note to mother nature. This is what it would say:

Dear Mother Nature,

Why do you feel it is necessary to continually dump snow on us? Yes, I realize not many people are doing their part to make it a green planet and certain areas of your planet are in dire need of assistance but is it really necessary to punish everyone. The government is trying to make the population cut back on the amount of garbage that is taken by making garbage collection every 2 weeks with a 4 bag maximum. You will be happy to know though that they have also made it green bin and recycle collection every week.

I speak for myself when I say this: I hate the cold and it is not pleasant for me. My favourite times of year are spring and fall. I don't like the extreme heat either but I understand that you have no choice with the depletion of your ozone layers. I apologize for any wrong doing I have done that may have offended you. I am going to make an effort to conserve more and recycle more but I will let you know now, there is only so much that one person, me, can do. I can do my part and chip in but the rest of the population is not my responsibility and I have no control over how they act.

Please bring back the nice weather that was a little bit cold but there was NO snow on the ground. We were working our way into what could have been a nice spring and then you snowed on us yet again. I post this letter on my blog so that my readers can understand and I can send a message to them to do their part, in the end though, it's their choice. So I have spread the word and kindly asked for you to be generous when thinking about giving us our spring back. It would be a wonderful gesture on your part.

Regards,
Sarah Gall

Parting is such sweet Sorrow - RIP Phil Dog

Dear Reader,

I have been on hiatus for the last month. I was in Cayman Islands end of Feb to beginning of March and then Las Vegas the end of March to the beginning of April. Some of my closest friends call me a world traveller. I don't feel that I have gained that status yet but I have done my big holidays for the year and now have to focus on getting a job and putting my life in order.

The main reason for me writing to you is because Thursday, I suffered a great loss. I came home from Las Vegas, to later in the day have to put my beloved Phil dog down. I knew when I saw him Thursday morn that things weren't good. He had lost a fair amount of weight and his eyes were sad and all he could really do was shake because he was so uncomfortable. I feel like I have lost my best friend or a family member. I still am going through the motions of telling myself that I did the right thing. I would never let him or any other of my pets suffer but to actually say goodbye was probably one of the hardest things in my life. I am plagued with feelings of guilt, sadness, depression, and frustration. I have to keep reminding myself that he isn't suffering anymore and that he is keeping a close eye on me from wherever he is. Phil's age was never really found out but we thought at the end he was probably around 12 to 14 years old. My dad, a veternarian, said that for a dog he had a long life so he was lucky in that way. Three months ago dad performed an extensive surgery to remove bladder cancer and it extended Phil's life by 3 good months. He bounced back from the surgery the fastest dad had ever seen, he was back to normal within 10 days....incredible recovery time for something that was so invasive.

The story of Phil began when I was working at Petcetera in Newmarket. I was a worker there and my main area of concentration was in the adoption centre. I saw and took care of lots of cats, but on the day that I quit Petcetera, I had discussed with my mum that there was this dog, Phil, that had been in the adoption centre and I could not leave him because he would surely be put down if he went back to the kennel again. When mum met Phil sparks flew and he was my 'leaving present' from Petcetera. On the way home I remember we were on Davis Drive in Newmarket and I was hungry so we stopped at Mc Donalds. I got some food and I asked mum if Phil could have some burgers as well. That was the beginning of his fascination and love for Mc Donalds cheeseburgers. He gobbled them down and was quite content for the rest of the ride home. Phil and I had a special bond and my mum truly believes that the reason and purpose I worked at Petcetera, even though it was for a short time, was to meet Phil and eventually have him become part of our family. We had Phil for 8-9 years and we were able to provide him with some of best care and love within those years. Spoiled with toys and treats, he later in life became a fashionista, wearing polo shirts and button up shirts. Some may think him wearing clothes was silly but it actually helped to tone down his anxiety, especially when there were storms. Not only was Phil very fashionable in his later years but he was a true lovebug. He would always come to me and give me hugs and shake my hand. An intelligent being with a heart of gold, Phil will always hold a huge part of my heart. He had the personality and character of a loving, caring dog, and didn't have a mean bone in his body. When I was sick, he would always stay with me and make sure that I was alright. Phil brought me a lot of comfort. Just knowing he was there would make the slightest difference in how I was feeling.

With him gone now, the farm house is very quiet. Jamie, his best friend and companion, (our other dog), wanders around lost and constantly looking for Phil. They spent so much time together, and to have him gone so quickly is giving her a culture shock. Since she has always been very close with my dad she is clinging to him a lot because what was familiar to her is now gone. She will never replace or be anything like the Phil dog, but she will have to behave better to get any recognition from me, Sometimes I think that I don't like her because she is dad's favourite, and I can imagine how silly that must be to read, Hell, it feels silly to write. Maybe eventually she will win what little room is left in my heart for her.

Phil was lucky and got to be put to sleep at home in familiar surroundings. Although I was not present when the deed was done, my mum, who I greatly thank, was there for him in his time of need. She said that Phil was very strong and that it was his time. I knew Phil would be strong, that was part of his character. He didn't fuss or anything when it came to be time, he just knew that his suffering would be over and that there would be a better place waiting for him.

One of my favourite quotes from Romeo and Juliet said by Juliet:
“Parting is such sweet sorrow.”

I will continue to love Phil dog til my days are through and he will never be forgotten. If anyone that reads this knew him, remember him by the good times that were shared. Remember him for who he was and what joy he created. Remember his favourite foods: Mc Donalds Cheeseburgers, cheese and crackers, buns, roast beef, etc. Phil, you will always hold a large spot of my heart and I will love you forever.

Love
Sarah

Fuck...........

Dear Reader,
People.........hmmmmmm........why do certain people believe they are entitled to everything on a silver platter. In honesty it makes me sick. Then there's the immaturity level of some of the people that think they are my friends. Why do I feel that certain people think they are my friend when really they are just thinking of how to use me and benefit throughout the package. A certain person comes to mind, actually a few people come to mind. Set ups and fake messages lead to trouble, but more importantly to bitchassness as Diddy would say. I need to do a serious people purge in my life, yet again. Get rid of all the users and liars and anything that might remotely be toxic. I need to think more of myself and if I can dispose of these people then I will be heading a step in the right direction.

1.Fuck those that think they are better then anyone else.
2.Fuck those that have stood me up time and time again.
3.I love me and I better starting showing it.

Love yourself reader, look back on the post i made that said we are all perfect in our own little worlds. That is true but don't let it get to your head, those are inner thoughts said by your inside voice. It's ok to love yourself just don't turn into a cocky asshole.

I am woman, hear me ROAR

Dear Reader,
I am going to tell you about a situation that has been occuring and if you would like to give feedback please do.
There is this guy that I find really sexy, and the whole deal. He's got some major flaws though and being shallow and a user are the top 2. This guy comes over a fair bit but only to parttake of particular extra circular activities but nothing sexual which is a shame because that's what i really want. As much as I like this dude and think he's a babe-ola, the user feeling is getting to me. I asked two people who i consider quite close about the situation. One said that i was just being used for my apartment and the other said the same but added that because i think the dude is hot i am letting him get away with everything. It's starting to bother the second person, and he asked me why i haven't stood up and straight hottie straight. I value these two people's opinions a lot. Yet again I have a toxic relationship in my front yard and only now am starting to realize it needs to be dealt with. I need to say Listen, either we be friends and whatever, or there's nothing. I can't let him use me as a taxi or chauffeur just because he doesn't want to walk home. I need to remove my thoughts from the situation and start using my brain instead of my sexual organs.
I was talking to another friend about being used by people and it's a “Damned if you do, damned if you don't.” People nowadays just do whatever they can to get ahead and forget about all the people they have to step on.
As of this minute, I must take control and re-kindle my self esteem and confidence that I am letting this person take away bit by bit.

I'm Back!!!!!!!!

Dear Reader,
A long time it has been. I went on vacay to the Cayman Islands, which I now refer to as Paradise. So many things to see and do there. I wanted to try a lot of new things, ex. Various types of food, go around the shops, and mainly have fun. I was lucky to get a right hand drive automatic vehicle which I proudly named Civy, because he was a 4 banger Honda Civic. By the end of the trip I liked driving him so much that I would consider getting one for home but that's not going to happen. Food I tried was incredible for a picky eater such as myself. I tried Brazilian, Indian, various types of seafood, and a favourite restaurant that we frequented was Ala Kebab. For this I have my best friend to thank, if it weren't for her letting me stay with her and experience such great tastes and flavours, I could have very well lived on Pizza Hut and Burger King (by the ocean) for the duration of the trip. Memoirable moments include: the trip to the turtle farm, visiting Hell, meeting new people, dancing and partying like a rockstar, and last but not least getting to see my dear friend in her element living a lifestyle that would make most jealous. I will admit that Hell was a bit odd, and there was something about the karma that was exuded from the place, but it was a great sight to see just the same. The weather was completely and utterly incredible, it only rained the last day and the amount was equal to that of a light spit. I never thought or considered how safe I would feel on a Carribean Island, there have been some bad stories in the news as of recent but it was almost like being at home. Sure the stray dogs was upsettig because I love my canine friends a lot but that's just the way it is down there. I got another tattoo, which if you are a hardcore follower of my blog, you won't find that surprising at all. It's a palm tree with “CAYMAN 2009” underneath. I had to get it named and dated because it was my first big trip off the continent and I will always remember it now, no matter what. I can't see myself forgetting it though because it was fabu. Two observations that I made, one, the menthol cigarettes for women are called Vogues and they are very much like a skinny Popeye Candy Cigarette. I was a trooper and tried them several times but they were no comparison to my brand from home. Second, the island is party central. Everyone drinks, everyone mingles and dances, and mainly everyone is constantly aiming for a good time. Sure I met some guys that would be a bomb to do ANYTHING with but they were off limits for good reasons. The sad part is that the trip went by so fast, it was like I arrived and was just getting ready to leave. I left with my girlfriend singing to me the song LUCKY which I am constantly listening to here. A parting gift that I will never forget. A good time was had by all, and yet again I send a ginormous thank you out to my dear friend that let me stay with her and experience her fun and different lifestyle.
-over and out
~S~