i just wrote this.......

Sitting listen to Carrie Underwood belt out Lessons Learned from the speakers on my laptop. Bopping my head to the music and really feeling the beat. Thoughts start to spin around in a generic haze. The past is coming clear and sure... i fucked up.... but i`m here to learn from the mistakes. Boyfriends who broke my heart. Friends i have lost along the way. I`m here to say that i have lived it and i`m way different now. I am freer, dislike fewer, and overall, drama free. Then i start trying to ponder up some great dates i am hoping to come. Four wheeling, coffee/ice cream, dinner, dancing, and adventure is my middle name by the way, so i am open to suggestions. Friday is golf night, can't wait, hope i have a good game. The hum of the air conditioner fades into the background. The cats have escaped to the balcony to lounge on the furniture. It's a simple kind of life here at Chez Sarah. We party all the time and chill when we want. No routines no rules. My eyes start to close and i sway with the music. Zoe schlepps around the corner to come in and sit upon her perch in the kitty condo. A burning yearning happens in the bottom of my stomach. I want something cool and tasty to quench my appetite. Darkness surrounds me and i like it. It comforts me. I feel safe.Then I challenge myself about the future. The people I will meet, the cultures I will experience, the ones i will love. Even though i know they may break my heart i am still going to allow myself to experience what it has to offer. I may cry. I may scream, but i will be better for learning and going through it. Like a big, warm hug I start to think of my very dear friends and family and us giving a giant hug to each other with our invisible arms of support. They will always be there even if they aren't right there with you. Music change! Jason Mraz's soft voice sings me a melody that is one of my favourite songs. I imagine myself on a warm, sunny beach and the water is coming up and splashing my body with the warm salt solution of the ocean.The sun is so bright that i am raching to grab my favourite pair of Lauren Conrad glasses to protect my corneas. A big wave rolls it's way to the beach and the current gradually pushes my body deeper in to the sand for a moment. Drops rain down, some graze my lips as they make their way down to their target. A browned body is heading towards me, and he is gorgeous. Sunkist hair, muscley arms, and the grayist of eyes. Captivated by the movement towards me and the wonderful environment I smile to myself and think “That's right baby, just right!”