Dear Reader,
So I started reading this book titled “THE OTHER WOMAN” which is edited by Victoria Zackheim. I don’t know why I wanted to read this book…It was probably about how Tori Spelling broke up Dean McDermott’s marriage to Mary Jo Eustace. The ‘essay’ is written but Mary Jo, don’t know if anyone remembers her but she was on a Canadian show called What’s For Dinner, she co-hosted with Ken Kostick (? Don’t know if I spelt his name right), but you get the idea. I am on the 4th story within the book and I still haven’t decided whether I should stop or carry on. I found some decent quotes from the intro but the writing is actually quite bad. It’s a bunch of stories compiled by wives, the other women, sisters, etc. Here’s the first part of the intro:
She’s the harpy, the Jezebel, the Lorelei, and the bitch. She seduces our husbands, breaks up our marriages, and occasionally manages to win over our children. Who is this creature who arrives like a wrecking ball to devastate our live and our families? She’s the other woman. Girls grow up primping and dieting to defend against her; boys grow up developing their pecs and abs to be enticed by her. And yet who among us has intentionally brought up our daughters to become her?
Now I don’t know about you reader, but from that OPENING paragraph, I get the message that this book is written by a lot of angry women that have found themselves in bad situations involving this other woman. They are trying to make a point and sway you right from the start, which I get, it’s a persuasive novel. The third paragraph goes on to tell who this mysterious woman may be:
Who is the other woman? She is our friend, our sister, our doctor, grocery clerk, or neighbor. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, she is us. And while the other woman may believe that she got her man, she understands that what she has gained may be the most she’ll ever get. So she takes what she can, reminded in many little ways of the existence of her lover’s wife, home, and children. Because whether the other woman is old or young, straight or gay, religious or non-observant, she must love of lust in the shadow of someone else’s mate.
Point and case the other woman could be anything with a VAGINA basically. Now that has been established we as women can all go wandering around wondering if our man is going to be taken by this broad. I know that broad sounds like such a harsh word but we end up being hurt and that’s the most polite term for her. Now what I would like to know is why there is no stories about men ditching their wives, going to find greener pastures if you will, men that just don’t want to wake up to the same face in the morning. I think the book is a little one-sided. We all know that women can be nasty creatures and if you don’t well that’s news to you and keep it close. I think the book would be more balanced if there was a bit of male perspective in there. Not all men are going to say ‘I Cheated Am Proud of It’ or ‘I Cheated and I have a problem’ like in an AA meeting. Some men may have decent stories or reasons for going elsewhere. Not that I am justifying this because this really hits close to home for me. My mum in the boyfriend’s wife eyes is probably the other the woman and she has every right to think that. It’s true but then lets take a look at the husband/boyfriend of the two women I am speaking about. This character likes to have his cake and eat it too. He doesn’t want to tell his wife it’s over because get this folks, he doesn’t want to be the one to incite the downward spiral. He wants things to end with the wife hitting the home run. My mum told my dad a while ago that they were going to live separate lives and they sort of do and sort of don’t. (Yes, I find it very confusing and get caught in the middle which is a horrible position sometimes). Now this boyfriend has constantly said to my mum that he wants to make a life with her and all that jazz, my question is how do you plan to do that when you are still married to your wife and don’t want to cause any problems? This man seems to be like some of the scummy men this book talks about, but in the background my mum does get painted with the title of the other woman.
I seriously wish that mum would take the hint that the guy is not worth it and move on. It’s not going to happen, there have been many a fight go on and none have been in my favour. Now lets get back to the first paragraph where they talk about ‘daughters growing up as the other woman’ (paraphrasing there). I have in my past cheated on some boyfriends, and no, they all don’t know about it necessarily, some do because I couldn’t be bothered to lie to them because I was willing to admit I was stupid and made a mistake, even though it hurt them. What I am getting at was that I was not raised that way and my mum always told me to marry a single guy and someone that was willing to devote everything to me. The problem with this preached out sentence is that mum doesn’t practice what she preaches. I can’t stand when people don’t stand by what they say, that really isn’t a good reflective thing to do. Then I move to my next point which is mentioned in the third paragraph, basically it says the other woman settles for whatever little she can get. Now I think this is wrong and no woman should do this. NO WOMAN AT ALL. Every woman has hopes and dreams that she wants to progress at, strive towards, and win at. Why should a woman settle for second best. I think that is the totally wrong mentality and therefore degrading to women as a population. Women have to find men that are willing to devote themselves to them fully and not just on the side because we are worth more then second best. I will restate my last point:
All women are worth more then second best.
I realize this post is mostly directed at women but if the man finds himself in the position of the ‘other woman’. You don’t deserve second best either, take a stand and believe in yourself and take a stand.
So I started reading this book titled “THE OTHER WOMAN” which is edited by Victoria Zackheim. I don’t know why I wanted to read this book…It was probably about how Tori Spelling broke up Dean McDermott’s marriage to Mary Jo Eustace. The ‘essay’ is written but Mary Jo, don’t know if anyone remembers her but she was on a Canadian show called What’s For Dinner, she co-hosted with Ken Kostick (? Don’t know if I spelt his name right), but you get the idea. I am on the 4th story within the book and I still haven’t decided whether I should stop or carry on. I found some decent quotes from the intro but the writing is actually quite bad. It’s a bunch of stories compiled by wives, the other women, sisters, etc. Here’s the first part of the intro:
She’s the harpy, the Jezebel, the Lorelei, and the bitch. She seduces our husbands, breaks up our marriages, and occasionally manages to win over our children. Who is this creature who arrives like a wrecking ball to devastate our live and our families? She’s the other woman. Girls grow up primping and dieting to defend against her; boys grow up developing their pecs and abs to be enticed by her. And yet who among us has intentionally brought up our daughters to become her?
Now I don’t know about you reader, but from that OPENING paragraph, I get the message that this book is written by a lot of angry women that have found themselves in bad situations involving this other woman. They are trying to make a point and sway you right from the start, which I get, it’s a persuasive novel. The third paragraph goes on to tell who this mysterious woman may be:
Who is the other woman? She is our friend, our sister, our doctor, grocery clerk, or neighbor. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, she is us. And while the other woman may believe that she got her man, she understands that what she has gained may be the most she’ll ever get. So she takes what she can, reminded in many little ways of the existence of her lover’s wife, home, and children. Because whether the other woman is old or young, straight or gay, religious or non-observant, she must love of lust in the shadow of someone else’s mate.
Point and case the other woman could be anything with a VAGINA basically. Now that has been established we as women can all go wandering around wondering if our man is going to be taken by this broad. I know that broad sounds like such a harsh word but we end up being hurt and that’s the most polite term for her. Now what I would like to know is why there is no stories about men ditching their wives, going to find greener pastures if you will, men that just don’t want to wake up to the same face in the morning. I think the book is a little one-sided. We all know that women can be nasty creatures and if you don’t well that’s news to you and keep it close. I think the book would be more balanced if there was a bit of male perspective in there. Not all men are going to say ‘I Cheated Am Proud of It’ or ‘I Cheated and I have a problem’ like in an AA meeting. Some men may have decent stories or reasons for going elsewhere. Not that I am justifying this because this really hits close to home for me. My mum in the boyfriend’s wife eyes is probably the other the woman and she has every right to think that. It’s true but then lets take a look at the husband/boyfriend of the two women I am speaking about. This character likes to have his cake and eat it too. He doesn’t want to tell his wife it’s over because get this folks, he doesn’t want to be the one to incite the downward spiral. He wants things to end with the wife hitting the home run. My mum told my dad a while ago that they were going to live separate lives and they sort of do and sort of don’t. (Yes, I find it very confusing and get caught in the middle which is a horrible position sometimes). Now this boyfriend has constantly said to my mum that he wants to make a life with her and all that jazz, my question is how do you plan to do that when you are still married to your wife and don’t want to cause any problems? This man seems to be like some of the scummy men this book talks about, but in the background my mum does get painted with the title of the other woman.
I seriously wish that mum would take the hint that the guy is not worth it and move on. It’s not going to happen, there have been many a fight go on and none have been in my favour. Now lets get back to the first paragraph where they talk about ‘daughters growing up as the other woman’ (paraphrasing there). I have in my past cheated on some boyfriends, and no, they all don’t know about it necessarily, some do because I couldn’t be bothered to lie to them because I was willing to admit I was stupid and made a mistake, even though it hurt them. What I am getting at was that I was not raised that way and my mum always told me to marry a single guy and someone that was willing to devote everything to me. The problem with this preached out sentence is that mum doesn’t practice what she preaches. I can’t stand when people don’t stand by what they say, that really isn’t a good reflective thing to do. Then I move to my next point which is mentioned in the third paragraph, basically it says the other woman settles for whatever little she can get. Now I think this is wrong and no woman should do this. NO WOMAN AT ALL. Every woman has hopes and dreams that she wants to progress at, strive towards, and win at. Why should a woman settle for second best. I think that is the totally wrong mentality and therefore degrading to women as a population. Women have to find men that are willing to devote themselves to them fully and not just on the side because we are worth more then second best. I will restate my last point:
All women are worth more then second best.
I realize this post is mostly directed at women but if the man finds himself in the position of the ‘other woman’. You don’t deserve second best either, take a stand and believe in yourself and take a stand.
1 comment:
S,
I'm not sure if I'd be interested in reading this book, but the way you described some of the points and embellished them was great. I've never personally cheated before, but I suppose I once was the 'other woman'. My high school sweetheart was with someone when we fell for each other, although neither of us made any move at all until after they had broken up. Still, we knew without words how we felt about each other. I guess some things you just can't help...I agree that it should be more balanced; both men and women should be to blame, but then I guess most books or articles are usually biased in some way.
Everyone does their own thing in their own way, and I think that the best you can do is to be the best person you can be. Discover what matters most to you, and try your best to follow your beliefs. Don't preach at everyone else, but open yourself so that they can see the way you do things. And (hopefully for me) pass some pointers on to your children.
As for cheating...(this is the part where I forget the don't preach portion and just state my humble opinion). Get a back bone. If you're unhappy or you met someone else, think of the person you're with and at least have the decency to be honest with them. Maybe you can't save their feelings, but at least you can save their dignity. (and yours too)
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