Sarah's How to.... Divert a Conversationalist

Dear Reader,

Has there ever been a time in your life where you have had to encounter a conversation with someone, you didn't particularly like, and you wanted to grab the closest sharp object and repeatedly stab yourself in the eye?

This coincidence has occurred several times in my short lifespan, and I have various ways of handling it, none really effective though because the person still has my attention and knows I am listening.

In my opinion, the smile and nod is one of the most common used gestures when faking listening to a person rattle on about nonesense. One politely smiles and nods their head every so often while looking at the talker so that they get the impression you are hanging on to their every last word. The problem with this is you still show that you are listening so the talker doesn't really get the message you don't want to hear what they have to say.

The fidgeting technique is sometimes useful but not a guarantee. This is when you begin to fidget or pace in the same spot show the talker that you are anxious or have somewhere to be. I often pace side to side and swing my arms, combining the smile and nod method. Now if your talker is in tune with your gestures they will notice that you have started moving about repeatedly in the same spot and might leave you alone. I tried this method today and it failed the talker was captivated in telling me their life story and did not get my silent hint.

The turn and walk away as if you did not hear the person is a great method. This is only effective if you do use in when the person tries to start talking to you. If you do it in the middle of their diatribe they might think you are slightly stupid or rude. Such feelings may reflect badly on you but if you don't care whether the person ever talks to you again, doing so in mid-conversation will definitely give them a red flag.

The mean and nasty method is you say, “Bob, I really don't have time to listen to your puff piece about yourself. Please don't waste my time telling it to me again. I know you think you are fantastic but please LEAVE ME ALONE.” LEAVE ME ALONE can be changed with I DON”T CARE, or some other phrase that shows you are not going to be compliant and listen to another one of their gobfests. Now if it is SWEAR WEEK, you may also toss in a few swear words. This will offend the talker but definitely get them off your case.

The last and final method I am going to impart on you is, wave a white flag or hankerchief and say I GIVE UP PLEASE LEAVE ME BE! The white flag in history is acknowledged as a sign of surrender, so in this case you are surrendering but you are saying that you just want to be left alone. Another way of interpreting this is that the person has encroached on your personal space to much and you have had enough but don't have the nastiness within to tell them to buzz off. This is a polite but fair technique to use. I have never used it but definitely will if the time comes.

I hope these methods of diverting a talker away have given you some options as to how to handle the situation. I thought long and hard about this post. It's not as brutal as I normally would write but it has tact, and that's what it's all about!