SWEAR WEEK

Dear Reader,

The exercise from the book this week is called SWEAR WEEK. I, personally, think this is a great idea. Considering last week I kept my composure under frigid conditions while at work, this weekend has been one giant potty mouth. For this week, I would like to continue the potty mouth-ness and complete the task of SWEAR WEEK.

Tv personalities like bad-tempered Chef Gordon Ramsay have made swearing socially acceptable, transforming our everyday language more than any contemporary novelist or poet could hope to. It is liberating in one sense, but also self-defeating: The point of this exercise is If we swear constantly is it still swearing? Test the boundaries of this new world this week by swearing in every sentence you write, or utter, and monitoring the reaction.

Examples

“Have you been on the fucking potty sweetheart?”

“Dear Sir, I wish to renew my subscription to your motherfucking magazine.”

“Fuck me, that cappuccino was delicious, thanks.”

“Who's a good kitty-fucking-kat?”

“Will you shitting marry me?”

“Dear wanker, I am writing to apply for an extension to my overdraft.”
“I'll have the prawns followed by the chicken, for fuck's sake.”

I really like this week's task to be quite fucking honest. No more shitting people. Fuck the police. We are a fucking democratic society that can do whatever the hell we please. Bitches and Assholes listen up this week is going to be rain on your parade day. No life is not a box of fucking chocolates, it's 365 used up condoms, trying to make it a good fucking year! I, Sarah Gall, refuse to take any boococky bullshit from anyone. I will use the word fuck as many times as possible and forget to judge people's reaction because I really don't give a shit. For all those who woke up this morning and feel like someone has pissed in their cornflakes, I challenge you to a duel of swear words. Who's the best fucker in town? And the loser gets the fuck out of dodge. The winner claims their rightful title as bitch or asshole of the week.

Surprisingly enough, that paragraph was hard to write because I tried to plant a swear word in every sentence. Hopefully you will find the task easier if you just forget about the swear jar and let loose! Good luck on your conquest of being a giant potty mouth dear reader.