what's it really about? i mean what does he want?
it appears he wants the bitchy barbie doll that barfs up her lunch. he wants the instability and frustration that was strong once before.
i shouldn't have done what i did. As much as i enjoyed it, it really was just the wrong thing to do. I care too much and it's killing me.
maybe he wants to go back to the way things were, where he didn't know me and i was nothing to him. maybe that's what i want. but then on the other hand i want him still around but i know that being with her will change him once again and that my snow globe of a world will be shattered once again. i wanted to see him happy, and i thought that he is happy with me. not so though.
i feel used right now. sad. depressed. awful. and a bunch of other things.
FUCK MY LIFE!
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